"They know just where I stand/ It's all a part of me/ That's who I am"

Isn't it funny how it can take you a long time to figure out something that defines you and it's always been right in front of you? I experienced this freshman year in my english class.

Our first assignment was to write a personal narrative about an experience that truly defined us. My teacher said she didn't want it to be something cheesy or cliched like getting your license or graduating but rather something that really affected us in our past. So I went back to my dorm room and pounded out a three page paper (oh how lengthy those seemed then. Now I think that would be a piece of cake) on when my dad passed away when I was thirteen. And surprisingly that's not what I discovered as truly defining me (even though it obviously did but that's not the point of this post). Anyway, so I wrote this paper and brought it to the next class meeting where we had a peer review session. So I'm reading some random girl's paper making some comments and then switching papers every few minutes with the people sitting around me. Keep in mind this is the first week or two of college so we had no idea who anyone else was. So at the end of the fifty minutes, we are all scrambling around trying to find our papers so we're not late for our next class.

"Annie?" this nerdy, talkative, CNN-obsessed, preppy kid called out, holding up my paper.

Great, I thought to myself. Of course that kid is going to be the one to get my paper. He probably ripped it apart. I shuffled over him to grab it and get out before he launched into explanation correcting me about how I used who when I should have used whom.

"This is one of the best papers I have ever read," he told me.

I actually laughed in the kid's face as I said "You're kidding right? I know it's crap."

"No, I'm serious. This may be the best paper I've ever read and I'm so honored I got to read it," he told me as he touched my arm.

I mumbled out a thanks and ran out of the room was completely dumbfounded (okay, and maybe I called my mom freaking out. It was my first paper in college! Give me a break! I was still baffled).

ETA: CNN-obsessed kid is one of the nicest guys ever and if he runs for president, I will vote for him. Fellow UGAers, yes you are thinking of the right person.

Even today, reading through that paper I think I sound like a complete 8th grader but his reaction had an impression on me (plus I think that contributed to my writing style. I prefer the simple and straightforward. No one is studying for the SAT while reading my book so no need for overly grandiose vocabulary and perplexing syntax). My teacher, a grad student, also had good things to say about it and suggested I include it in the portfolio we had to submit at the end of the semester including two revised works and a biography. She wanted us to have a theme that tied everything together so I stumbled across mine when I met with her for the required one-on-one conference. She said she could tell how much my family meant to me so I should incorporate that into the rest of my portfolio. And boy did I ever. My picture (required in the bio) was one of all of us (12 at that point in time) on the beach trip from that year. And I wrote about myself through the lens of my family in the biography and I learned, wow, my family really defines me and I didn't even realize it. It's like it was just such an obvious and given thing that I never actually noticed it. But I ran with that theme in a couple more personal narratives and required journal entries I had to write in college. So it shouldn't be a surprise that....

My family is going to be a part of my book! Because like I've said a million times, I've really come to define myself through them, ALL of them, so I have to include them, right? I've always identified with the girl I am writing as my main character and so I am sort of modeling her after myself. Now that in no way means this is an autobiography. I've accomplished nothing. Who wants to hear about my life (...then why are you writing this blog? Good question, reader! I'll get back to you on that. Maybe...)? So I always think well, I can do the opposite of what I know or I can write what I know. And I think the paper on my dad showed that I should write what I know, to a certain extent at least. So let's run with that.

Initially I thought, eh I don't want to have to keep track of 4 siblings plus spouses plus children. So I thought about changing it to one brother and one sister. But then that's only three kids and that's not really "a big family" (though today, that is starting to be considered a big family. I don't agree. Big is five or more) so then I thought about upping it to a brother and two sisters and combining my actual three sisters into two girls but then I knew my sister AE would automatically assume I lopped her off. So then it was back to square one with three sisters and a brother. Oh and then you add in spouses: Two brothers-in-law. And a sister-in-law. Oh but we can't forget about the nieces. Maybe I could downsize the seven of them into like... three or four girls. Which may or may not be my current plan now. I did tell my family members about my plan on the beach trip but don't want to give away everything involving them so my lips are sealed about that from here on out. But hey, you got a little bit of info about the book. A girl is the main character and she has... many family members. All I know is that I hope no one announces a pregnancy anytime soon cause I don't know if I can cram anymore characters into this thing (That's a lie! The little ones are already almost a year old. We need more babies!)!

And for some reason my family thinks in spite of the fact I've chosen to include each and every one of them in my book, that I hate them and I am looking for ways to get rid of them (even though that would cut down on the dialogue and detailing I have to pass around among ten adult characters). My brother JP and sister AE asked if their characters are mean and nasty. My brother asked me if I was going to have his character have an affair or something (My response: Nope. Not with a woman anyway). I went with my mom to visit previously mentioned brother and his family last weekend in Alabama. He flicked my ear for saying something rude or something, I don't recall those details, but after he did it, he said he was worried to say/do too much to me because he is scared of what I am going to do to his character in the book. But I don't know why they are all concerned about something bad happening to their character. I mean this is a post about how much I love my family so their fears should be put to rest now. :)

And I leave you with this snipet of a gChat conversation with my sister LA when I was explaining my "name dropping" technique:

LA: It's quite a complicated system you have there

Me: Not really, it's pretty simple. And it's a guaranteed crowd. Mwhahaha.

Me: Don't make me kill off Ren

LA: I'm just glad the power hasn't gone to your head

Me: ...... not yet.

Oh and just a fun little easter egg for those who really care (Hi, mom and LA!) I actually used the title of my book somewhere in this post. Happy hunting! Feel free to post your guess in the comments section. No promises about confirmation but if someone actually guessed, I might actually have to fess up. Key word: might.

P.S. I know I've written several times how I am worried about using the word "just" too much but I would like to point out at least three of my posts' titles have used the word "just" from various songs. It's more common of a word than you think, that's all I'm saying!