A few weeks ago I babysat for E, the three year old boy I've been babysitting for about a year and half. Since it was so nice outside, we decided to go play in the background. As we walked out the door I thought to myself, I should take my phone with my outside. But they have bad reception so I opted against it. This, my friend, is called ironic foreshadowing. So we played outside for about thirty-five minutes, and ninty-nine bug bites later, I decided to call it a day and take him inside. E goes to open the door and tells me it is locked. I pray that he is just weak so I go and try myself. Definitely locked. And my phone is inside the house. I am also anal about the doors being locked so the front door and door leading in from the garage (provided we can get it open) are both locked as well, thanks to my doing. Score. So I flashforward, imaging us sitting on his front stoop shivering, waiting for his parents to get home at 10:00 in the pitch black (since the porch light wasn't turned on, natch).
But Super Babysitter Annie doesn’t sit and cry. I started making a plan. Since I had no phone, I really had no option but to go and knock on the neighbor’s door. Oh but if only it were that easy. The gate leading out of their backyard, yeah locked with a steel padlock that needs a combination. A combination that neither E or I know. So I hauled my hiney over the picket fence and then lugged the little boy over after me. Once we made it to the other side, he said we could just go in the garage. I get excited thinking all we have to do is pull it up. Hopes rise. Then I saw the keypad next to the garage. Hopes crash. E claims all you need to do is press Enter. I say a prayer and do so. Nothing. I even tried 1234 hoping they hadn’t changed the temporary one. No such luck. So we go over to the neighbor’s house next door. Of course it would have been too easy for them to actually be home. Plan B.
So we run across the street to another person’s house. Did I mention E was already in his pajamas and it was only 7:15? So we knock on a man’s door and he answers and we ask to use his phone. He was nice but things were a little... off in this house. I also had to navigate around two huge dog crates to get to the phone so the house did not smell pleasant. E was pinching his nose and not saying a word. Usually E does not stop talking so clearly he understood the strangeness of the situation. My mom was with E’s mom so I frantically dialed her number. My mom is also notorious for not answering calls from phone numbers she doesn’t know. So I dialed three times in rapid succession to no avail. I then took a deep breath and asked E if he knew his mom’s phone number. “Yes! I do!” My heart soars with hope. What is it? “9....1....1”. Foiled again. And like I said, things were a little off in this house, so we didn’t stick around. And I resigned to sitting on their stoop until his parents got home, whenever that may be.
So we sit and wait for a few minutes (not even in the backyard since there is no way to get back over the locked gate) on the driveway, but I can’t take it (read: had to go the bathroom) so we go to the neighbors on the other side of their house. E is already waiting, nose plugged because he is certain all neighbor’s houses must smell like the first, as we wait to see if they can be our rescuers. A man opened the door and his dog is absolutely freaking out. E has decided to cover his ears now instead of his nose. I explain our predicament and he lets me come in to use their phone. They did appear to know E and so they start talking to him and letting him play with their universal remote as I frantically dial my mom’s number approximately 14 times in the kitchen. I finally have to pause and ask to wait until she calls me back. So we sit (actually I stood awkwardly. I think I thought if I sat, I was admitting defeat) and talked while we waited for my mom to call back. This happened for about twenty minutes while E tries to sell me out saying I was the one who locked the door (it was neither of us. I have no idea how it happened).
Then I had the fear that the dad would get home and see no one was there (and worry we had been raptured... or kidnapped) so I told them we were just going to go back and hang out on their front steps until he got home. So we thanked them (profusely) and then left. We went and sat on the stoop for about two minutes before E announced he wanted to go inside. No can do, buddy. He continued to repeat this (as I tried to explain to him we didn’t just go on an adventure, we really couldn’t go inside) for fifteen minutes. Then the nice neighbor came out and told me my mom had called, I was transferred to E’s mom and got the combo for the keypad and we made it inside. Woo hoo! By this time about 45 minutes had passed and it was time for E to go to bed. So we went upstairs, brushed teeth and read a story. After some prompting from me, E’s prayers were as follows: “Thank you God for Annie. Annie’s mom. [whispered] What is your mom’s name? [normal voice] Joanne. And please don’t let us get locked out of the house ever again. Amen.” Amen!
Best part of the story? I came back downstairs after telling E goodnight and had just sat down on the couch when I heard the garage door go up. That’s right. E’s dad got home less than ten minutes after we finally made it inside. Seriously?! And as I walked out to my car, I saw the man from House #1 who called out, "I see you made it inside!" I did a victorious fist pump as I walked off into the sunset.
The story might be better told verbally but it was honestly a comedy of errors even though I was NOT laughing at the time. And considering I don't do well in times of stress, I handled this one well if I say so myself. I only almost cried twice. Almost! I’m growing up! And here’s to good people still existing in this world. Even if all my Dexter-watching sort of had me convinced I was going to get killed and never heard from again. But I lived to tell the tale. And lesson learned: Keep phone attached to hand at all times.
