Things Kids Say #1

Things Kids Say:

Ms Annie: I brought in ice cream for a special treat! Guess what kind it is? It's vanilla with a chocolate swirl.

R [whispers]: A chocolate squirrel?!?

We have a class bear (Bailey) that the kids get turns taking home for a week and then writing in a journal and pasting in some pictures. The bear was handed off to the latest friend: "I can't wait to go home and put undies on him!" It was clear she had been plotting this for a long time.

Annie: My tummy hurts.

R: My mommy has a baby in her tummy.

Annie: I do not.

R: Well you should get one in there.

Annie: No thanks.

We talked about Insects yesterday (can you tell it was "I" week?) and we played a guessing game where I gave them clue so they could figure out what bug it was. "It has eight legs. And eight eyes. It is black. It is fuzzy and icky. It has a web." That's how many clues I had to give for spider. Then I let a student take a crack at giving me clues after several example rounds. "Cr. Crr. Crrrr. Crrrrrrr." Uhhh... cricket? "YOU GOT IT!"

"I love the Fresh Beat Band! [quietly to self] And bacon."

There is definitely one moment a day where I am doubled over in laughter from something that a kid says. That's all I have for now. Hopefully more later. :)

"These words... from my heart flow/ I love you"

And since I'm already here....

In celebration of Easter I made the decision to teach my kids a string of six bible verses. My nieces learned it at their school when they were five. My kids are three or four. They remember bible verses from October. I thought, Let's give it a try. The first day was rough. They struggled with the world "Sabbath" and they didn't understand that "dawn" didn't mean the name of one of the girl's moms. And then I started handing out SweetTarts and Hershey's Kisses anytime the kids got a line right and the ball started rolling.

We learned the verse in two weeks. That means some of the kids learned it in FOUR days (the other kids in six... still impressive!). I was so proud. But that didn't mean we didn't have some stumbling blocks along the way. The last line in the verse is "He has risen!". Instead of risen, one kid said ribbons, another prison, and presents got mentioned a couple of times. It references Mary Magdalene and my assistant had a baby girl named Mary Ellen a few months ago. We talk about her a lot and all the kids think she's really cute. And apparently they always have her on the mind because one girl said "Mary Ellen and the other Mary Ellen went to look at the tomb". And if there was ever a tricky word, we would break it down syllable by syllable and say it over and over until it wasn't scary. This lead to us chanting/screaming "cru-ci-fied" for about twenty seconds until I realized how it must have sounded to passerbys in the hall and we moved on.

We really pounded this into the kids' heads. On Thursday, the last day of school before Easter, I was telling them about the "Angel Rolled Back the Stone" craft we were going to make later that day. And I asked them what the angel said to the women and they ALL automatically replied, "Do not be afraid. For I know that you are looking for Jesus who was crucified. He is not here, He has risen!" I said, "Wow. I kind of turned you guys into robots". And one little boy laughed and said, "No! If we were robots we would sound like this: "Do. Not. Be. A-Fraid" as he did the actual robot. It was AWESOME. And then we were done going over it for the morning so I started to tell them what I had planned for the day. I said "First we are going to have snack. Then you need to go potty before music. After...," and several of the kids jumped in and started with "After the sabbath." Like I said, robots.

But I am SO proud of them for learning SIX verses all together (Matthew 28: 1-6). They are little rockstars. I would totally post the video I spliced together of all nine kids saying it but I don't want to get fired for privacy issues. And if you want more kids stories (and I want a paycheck) let's not and say we did.

Happy Easter!

"Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time"

True Story:

Me: Who.... *Girl #1 raises hand* You don't even know the question yet. *Girl #1 lowers hand* Who *Girl #1 raises hand again. I give up* Who can tell me one of the old bible verses we learned a long time ago?

Girl #1: Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Deuteronomy 31:6 [give her props. We learned this back in October]

Me: Nice. So I guess you did know the question before I even asked it. Good job!

Girl #2: Booyah.

It was so perfectly timed. Said so deadpanned yet with feeling. It was amazing. And yes shameful* since I have uttered this term in my classroom (five times at the most... okay six) but it's cause I watched a lot of Community in a short period of time.

Another little girl told me she liked my shoes (grey new balances) and asked if they were new. I told her they were approximately seven years old (but apparently are still in good shape) and she said "Wow. Wait. So are you seven years old too?" I wish.

* Whoops. I also then begged her not to repeat it at home or say it to her parents.

"Sometimes it hits like a car crash/ And it's too late to reverse"

Sometimes I really stress out about the things I have to teach my kids every month. For example, teaching them how to call 911 was one of the more stressful days. I was convinced every parents was going to tell me the next day that the police came to their house because Sally and Bobby were practicing calling 911 cause Ms Annie taught them how. Luckily, that didn't happen. But how exactly do you explain to a kid why they might need to call 911? Well sweetie, you might have to call 911 if mommy or daddy is ever unconscious. I don't want to scar these kids for life. Luckily my mom helped me come up with the example of if their mom/dad fell off a ladder and couldn't get to the phone cause they hurt their leg.

And it's funny cause I try to avoid the overall topic of death because I don't want to have nine hysterical children but one of their favorite games to play is pretending someone is dead.

The thing that I worry about is teaching them stuff as a precaution that they shouldn't be worried about in the first place. Don't play with matches. They don't even know what matches are. My worry is when I explain the wooden stick that lights up that they are going to go home and seek them out and then try to make that happen cause it sounds cool. I also didn't want to explain about poison prevention so I just told them to stay out from under the sink in the kitchen and bathroom. All encompassing.

Little did I know the one lesson I was going to hammer home a little too hard was about brushing our teeth and eating healthy foods. We covered all the basics, foods that are good for you, how you should sing Happy Birthday to yourself as you brush , etc. I made the mistake of mentioning that fruit snacks aren't really good for your teeth because even though it does have the word "fruit" in it, they stick to your teeth and might make you get little holes in them (cavities). Well when lunchtime rolled around approximately 4 of my 9 children had horror-stricken faces when they opened their Spiderman and Tinkerbelle lunch boxes and saw they had * gasp * fruit snacks. Oh no! cried one child as he held it away from himself like a dead mouse. So then I had to explain it is okay to have them as a special treat every once in while. Pretty sure he packed them up and took them home unwilling to run the risk. Whoops.

Also a fun story: One of the little girls came out of the bathroom and told me there was pee on the floor. I expected a little trickle on the seat or floor because these kids freak out if one of them forgets to flush. Well I walked into the Yellow River. Literally. It was EVERYWHERE. I asked the ones that I remembered going recently. Then my eyes fell on the Guilty One. He wouldn't explain what happened so I took him out in the hallway under the promise that "I won't get mad".

Me: So what happened? (Never provide them with the potential excuse in your question such as were you sick, was it an accident)

Him: I wanted to see if I could go pee in the dark.

Needless to say I was not happy especially after the 40 paper towels it took to clean it up and the healthy dosing of cleaner the bathroom got. Oh my glorious job and life. Seriously any day I avoid the three Ps: puke, poop, and pee, I am a happy camper.

"Up on the rooftop/ Reindeer pause/ Out jumps good old Santa Claus"

I may have done something awful to my kids today. But I may also be absolutely brilliant.

Between the freezing weather and their specials (spanish, science, music) being cancelled, the kids and I are spending A LOT of time in our room. I understand that Christmas is coming and they are getting a little stir crazy and being in a 16x16 foot room is finally taking its toll. That being said they have been OUT OF CONTROL these past few days. I hit a desperate moment earlier today. And the following ensued:

One of the other teachers walked by the door carrying some jingle bells for a craft. All of my kids backs were turned so they didn't SEE who was the cause of the jingling. And I may have gasped and said "I just saw Santa peek into our room!" All of the kids may have gotten whiplash as they turned to see if he was still there. But unfortunately he wasn't. But then I took it a step further and said I saw him write down on a list the kids who were being nice and listening and sitting criss-cross applesauce and being good. He also wrote down the kids who were being naughty and flopping around on the floor and talking while the teacher was talking and not being on their best behavior. They could hear still the jingling down the hall. I definitely saw some doubt on the kids' faces but there was a glimmer of "What if she is telling the truth and he saw me being naughty?" Let's just say they were all sitting criss-cross applesauce from that point forward.

Brilliant or cruel? I'll let you decide. Then if you vote cruel, I will gladly let you come into my room and take the reins for a few hours and we'll see what tricks you have up your sleeve.

My only regret is not coming up with this in November. Have my assistant jingle some bells outside the door a couple times a week when things were getting rough. I'm a genius.

"I come back to December all the time"

I always check the weather on my phone when I wake up in the morning so I know how to dress for the day. Much to my dismay, it said it "feels like fifteen degrees" when I woke up this morning. That should be illegal. Sidenote: I totally used to think that it was "windshield" and not "wind chill"; as in they used a thermometer on a windshield to see how cold the glass was. I'd like to say this was in elementary school but it went far beyond that. I'm dumb!

Anyway, you just always want what you can't have. I remember earlier this summer sitting on the playground in the blazing sun, trying to find the one square foot of shade and sweating while doing absolutely nothing, praying for it to cool off. Now it definitely has cooled off and I want nothing more than for it to be warmer. I'm sick of my eyes watering from the cold and my lips being chapped and having to wear four layers to work (winter coat, wool sweater, long sleeved shirt, and tank top) only to still be freezing. Unfortunately they still haven't turned the heat on at work so I am freezing inside too. I can just never win. But it makes me appreciate spring and fall that much more (you know, all two weeks that we get during the year in Georgia).

But now maybe it finally snow tomorrow and answer my kids' prayers/guesses every morning when we decorate Sam the Weather Panda. Funny enough, they always predicted it would snow "tomorrow" in September and October. But these days, where snow is actually a possibility, they just keep guessing cloudy. But one of the kids did say it was "blustery" the other day. Impressive.

"Who me?/ Yes, you/ Couldn't be/ Then who?"

When I was little, I LOVED the WeeSing videos. Sillyville, WeeSing Together, The Best Christmas Ever, and Old King Cole's Party (we actually lost that one or gave it away on accident; I'm still mad about it) and of course Grandpa's Magical Toys. My sister found a dvd of Grandpa's Magical Toys at a garage sale and got it for me for old times sake. Luckily I threw it in my bag one morning before work since it was raining and it was a saving grace when the kids didn't get to go out on the playground.

My mom warned me that she had put on one of the VHSs for my nieces a long time ago and they weren't interested. Let's face it, these movies were made in the late 80s/early 90s; the special effects are not up to par with this Pixar and DreamWorks generation. But I remember I how much I loved them and wanted to at least try it (and at the very least not have to watch The Letter Factory for the billionth time). They sing old school songs and nursery rhymes in this particular one and my kids LOVED it (well not one little girl who was freaked out by the clown Punchinello but she came around). They sing "Who Stole the Cookies from the Cookie Jar" and at the end the cookie jar talks in this deep, rumbly voice and says "No one stole the cookies from the cookie jar. You ate them all yesterday". This has been the number one quoted line. And now every day, at the end of the day, we sing the song. They are obsessed. The Pre-K kids were in my room and they wanted to learn the song. The kids in the other class wanted to learn the song. Basically I am now a hot commodity because they all want to learn in and since none of these kids are exposed to anything beyond Dora, Hannah Montana, Spiderman, and Toy Story (I actually pitched Grandpa's Magical Toys as a "like Toy Story but with real people!" This may have been what caused the little girl to freak out. And also all the kids to ask if Buzz and Woody were in it), they thought I was the sole person with insider knowledge.

I'm just saying, if you have a three or four year old, give WeeSing a chance. My siblings still block it out because apparently I made my mom play WeeSing in Sillyville every morning. Hey, Sillywhim was the shizz.

"When you smile/ The whole world stops and stares for a while"

I'm blogging while babysitting. That's how determined I am to meet this thirty day goal especially since I am SO close to the end. Thanks sister MR for letting me use your laptop. And don't worry all the kids are in bed! I'm not slacking on the job.

Just a few work stories from the past few weeks:

There is a little girl in the other three's class who I had this summer so I still see her in the hallways. Her mom is several months pregnant so one afternoon I was talking to R and asked if they had picked any names for the baby. When she said no, I started suggesting some names like Flower and Rock, that sort of thing. Then I pretended to get really excited and said she should name the baby Annie! She could tell I was kidding and laughed and told me I was funny (score).

A few days later, she ran up to me in the morning and said "Ms Annie, guess what?! We're going to name the baby Annie". My heart soared with pride, my eyes filled with tears, my mouth dropped open in shock. I choke out, "Really?" barely above a whisper. Only to be told by a three year old, "No. I was just kidding" who then ran away laughing at how she had truly duped me. In my defense, she also tricked her two own teachers with the same joke.

So a few mornings later, her mom was dropping her off and I told the mom how good her daughter got me. And then the mom told me that the little girl had named her Build-a-Bear she had gotten that weekend Annie! Awwwwwww. That means more to me than the baby. :)

And the other cute story: I work all day and stay while the kids take their naps. The afternoon kids are a mixture of 3s and Pre-K. The day before Halloween weekend, the lady I work with and I were joking around with the kids telling them what candy to bring us on Monday after they went trick or treating. Low and behold, one of the 4s brought my co-worker all of his tootsie rolls cause they are her favorite on Monday. He asked me to remind him what my favorite was and that he would bring them to me tomorrow. Now my hopes had already been let down once so they weren't too high. They then deflated in the morning when I saw him walking towards my classroom apparently empty-handed*. Almost all hope was lost until he gave me a big smile and withdrew a plastic bag of several Reese's Peanut Butter Cups because he knew "buttercups" were my favorite. Well you can pretty much assume I almost started to cry right then and there. So sweet.

*It has nothing to do with taking candy from a baby/little kid. I just want to know that they like me, really like me. Even when he gave me the candy, I tried to convince him to take them back because they are delicious but he wouldn't have it. Awwww.

See, that's why you have kids (said in the voice of Phoebe Bouffay-- the episode where Ross's son goes to school with Sting's son. BAM.). Or at least teach them.

"Cause you're everywhere to me/ And when I close my eyes it's you I see"

Woah. Almost forgot to do a post today. I literally just had to crawl out of my warm bed to get up and write this. That's how committed I am. And yeah, I was in bed at 10:09, what about it? You know why? Cause kids are exhausting. And they are even more exhausting as you slowly start to realize that children are everywhere.

Seriously. All day at work. My billion nieces and nephew. But those are obvious ones. It's when you're standing in line at Panera and the little boy with his mom in front of you is smiling at you. Or the little girl in her mom's cart at Target who is closer to eye level staring you down in the checkout line. Or the little kid at Yogli Mogli pitching a fit because he wants to seat at the one spot at a table that is sans-chair. His older siblings just tell him to sit in the spot that does have a chair but noooo the little boy has to sit in that exact spot or his world will come crashing down. So you push the extra chair at your table over to the empty spot to remedy the situation. He's happy. I'm happy. Everyone's happy.

Yes, I've also become quite the problem-solver and this job is erasing the lazy right out of me.... for the most part.

And sometimes I forgot I am not at work and start to correct kids I don't know. Whoops. Like at my sister's halloween neighborhood party where I saw a kid chuck a broom at another kid's face and I yelled out, "HEY! How about you don't do that again, sweetie?" in my you're-about-to-get-it voice. Oopsies.

Okay! Off to bed where I am sure I will either dream about an post-apocalyptic world where I am somehow still in charge of my kids and have to keep them alive or dream there are children in my room and I apparently told the parents they could sleep over.

"We'll be young forever/ You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream"

Oh ye of little faith. You thought I couldn't do it huh? But I'm back, baby!

Like I said, the reason I am not writing as much is because I am literally exhausted at any given point during the day. But I really am enjoying my job. I complain about issues with the kids but I am trying to remember that they are three years old and not little teenagers. Because in between wiping booties, cleaning off boogers, smelling little kid toots ALL day, and telling the kids to stop running/ spitting/ screaming, etc, there are some pretty cute moments that make it worth it.

My job is at a church so the kids have a bible verse to learn every month. And let me tell you, these kids have it down by the second or third day of going over it. Last month's was, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Deuteronomy 31:6" and some of my kids use it in everyday life. One of the moms told me that there was a scarily decorated house on Halloween and her husband wanted to take at least their older son trick or treating there. One of my threes said she wanted to go too but the mom told her she would be too scared. And the girl busted out, "But mom! Remember! Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid. Deuteronomy 31:6." Real world application people! And yes, she did go to the house but apparently it was really scary and she and the older brother high tailed it out of there. Still, A for effort.

Oh same little girl, different story: Her one year old sister was fussing one morning and she apparently said, "Don't worry mom, I got this. Bring it down, sis. Bring it down" *along with downward hand motions*. At least I'm not screaming at them to shut up, right?

One day I was trying to teach my kids something, probably opposites or rhyming, I don't remember. But whatever it was, they were doing a good job at understanding it. So sometimes I am delirious and enthusiastic and make a BIG deal of them getting stuff right. So I jokingly told them we should just march right next door and put them in the Pre-K cause they are clearly too smart for my little threes class. One little boy said "No! We don't want to! We want to be in your class!" It was very sweet. They also told me today, most of them still want to be in my class when they are twenty-five years old. Awww.

Another little girl constantly tells me that I'm "still her best friend". Even when she told me the very first time, it was "still", but I'll take it.

And last but not least: the other day, a little girl yelled out from her position on the potty, "Ms Annie!" I was literally reaching for the "wipies" as I asked her "What?" and got a very unexpected response: "I just love you so much" she called back. The girl I work with looked at me and said, "Those are the moments that you'll remember forever." And I will. Especially since I wrote it down in this post. :)

Two bonus potty quotes:

Me: Guys, you've really GOT to stop with the spitting. I can't take it anymore.

K (without missing a beat): And the tooting.

One kid's, ahem poopy, is frequently a shade of a unique color.

Me (muttering to myself as I wipe them): What in the world could you possibly have eaten?

Little kid (very matter of fact): Pickles.

"I get knocked down but I get up again/ You never gonna keep me down"

Work is going really well! My class is getting heaps of praise from my boss and their parents (like a parent took a picture of the note I wrote to one of my kids and put it on Twitter. Twice. No big deal)! Except yesterday morning when I told them this and gave them all a sticker, they apparently thought that meant they didn't have to behave anymore. Don't worry I got them back on track.

I had a hilarious thing happen yesterday. Honestly it's not even that funny when I tell it verbally so I'm sure all hilarity will be lost in writing. But since I don't record anything in journal-form anymore and I want to remember this it will just have to do:

We were on the playground and apparently a spider's babies hatched everywhere over the weekend because the kids have been finding them nonstop. And they feel the need to tell me and the other teacher every single time by pointing, staring, and yelling. So there was a web on the fence and after the thirtieth time a child told me about it, I tried to distract J and T by asking them to run over and show me how they can climb the little rock wall and wave to me from the top. The two boys took off in a dead sprint and of course they collided at the bottom of the wall in attempts to be the first one there. Little J was face down on the ground not moving (but he has a tendency to do this especially when he is upset and doesn't want the other kids to notice) so I called to him and asked if he was okay. I got no response and little C sitting next me said in a completely flat and serious tone, "He's dead." I know it doesn't sound that funny but I couldn't even move I was trying so hard not to burst into laughter. I could totally see the tone she used being said in a Pixar movie (kind of like this). And yes I did eventually compose myself, get up and check on J and he was completely fine and at the top of the wall in no time.

But I even watched a movie last night where a male character died in a pretty dramatic way and I just thought "He's dead" in C's little voice and I started cracking up. Oh kids, they're so funny and cute.