"And you told us to decide what we want today/ But I don't know"

Happy New Year! Okay, so I am a little late on that but hey, at least it is still January. I was going to write a post about how I suck at New Year's Resolutions. I think since I was eight years old it has been to stop biting my nails. This year, I lasted about a day. But then I watched a particularly intense episode of Dexter and all hope was lost. Then it was to write a blog post every day for a year. Then before I knew it, it was January 2nd. Fail. Maybe I can try again in February. And my other usual one is the cliched eat better/work out more. Then Snowpocalypse 2011 hit the DAY I was going to start so that meant I couldn't go outside and we only had nonperishables in the house so what can you do?

I worked on the book some today. Still editing. I know. It's a long, tedious process. As I've said, I work at a Preschool. And apparently I like trendy names because the two main characters I have in my book are the names of kids in my class. But that's okay, they are cute kids, I don't feel like I have to change them. But the name of the girl everyone hates in the book is unfortunately the name of one of my girls too. Oh no. At first I thought I would just power through it but now I really feel bad. So the hunt is on for a new name. It's hard picking a name you like but for a "bad" character. I've already said how I have strong connotations to names. Angelina-- Jolie (Did you know that was the 86th most popular name in 2010? Seriously?) Amelia--- Earhart. Mariah-- Carey. And those are just celebrity ones. Throw in the names of kids at work, friends of my nieces, cousins, and it gets tricky. And I can't pick a name I hate because I am still going to be using it. I care way too much about trivial stuff. But it's not trivial in the scheme of things. Or at least that is what I am going to tell myself. So the search continues. I'll let you know what I decide.... maybe.

"Street lights/ Big dreams all looking pretty"

Tonight, I went through my box of artwork and assignments (spanning Kindergarten through high school) to find a craft that I am going to use with my kids tomorrow. That's right I'm old school. But as I was sorting through the various worksheets and artwork, I stumbled across dozens of stories I wrote in elementary school. I do not recall writing this many but evidently I did. I don't remember if they were always the assignment or if it was a free time choice but either way I wrote a lot. I totally could have been one of those kids who knew what they wanted to be when they grew up since infancy if I had been paying attention. Drats.

Anyway, I will now share some of these tales with you, dear reader.

We shall start with "Tornado- A True Story" written in the third grade. My most polished of the three pieces and dare I say, the most dramatic. Spelling and grammar as is as much as it pains me to do so....

A storm was starting up outside. The wind howled, thunder booned, and lightning flashed. Four people were home at the Petrella household. Annie and JP were watching Twister, LA was doing her homework, and Mrs. Petrella was walking Molly. Mrs. Petrella noticed a dark cloud over the golf course. She quickly put Molly away and ran into the house and started to watch the weather outside. Then the wind started to blow harder. Then she yelled "Everybody get in the bathroom!" Then once everybody was in the bathroom the electricity went out. Then pounding sounds hit the side of the house. Then hail started. Then after about 5 minutes the tornado stopped. Everybody went outside and they met Mr. Petrella. Trees fell over on electric cords and branches were everywhere. A tree had fallen in the driveway. Then JP called his friend to cut the tree with a chainsaw. John's friend did get rid of the tree blocking the driveway but the two that fell on the electric cord are still there. The Petrella family hopes another tornado will not come. THE END.

As it says in the title, true story. F1 on the golf course that was built next to our old house. Let's just say I have never watched Twister since this happened. Considering it was a gorgeous day and the actual storm brewing coincided with the one in the movie. NEVER AGAIN. Also, I see I suffered from my "can't-think-of-the-obvious-word" even at the tender age of ten since I couldn't some with "power lines" and instead used "electric cords". Potato, po-ta-to.

Now I present to you: The 2 Birds. Written by Annie in the 4th grade.

One day, two birds were flying looking for worms to eat. The two birds were Robin and Jay. When they landed on the ground they both started to peck for worms. Then they each found the same worm and thats how Robin and Jay met.

(next page)

Robin and Jay fell in love Then they decided to get marry. They went to Preacher Pecker. I now pronce you husband and wife.

(next page)

Then one day when they were flying. Robin was talking to Jay and wasn't paying attenion to where she was going. She hit a branch and broke a wing. She fell to the ground, and couldn't get up. Then the old nasty cat came and saw Robin. "Help" cried Robin. Jay flew down and got Robin before the cat could get her.

(next page)

Then they flew off to................................................................................ Holand. THE END.

Clearly I had to refer to a map for the geography at the end. I mean there is love, suspense, quotes, and conjunctions. I was developing some serious skills. It should also be noted I "dedicated" the story to the children's author who had recently visited our school (Nina Laden), my family, and my REAL (underlined twice) friends". Perhaps I was mad at someone at the time?

And last but not least, the story that had me receive the "Young Writer Award" in the second grade: The Magic Pencil.

Once apon a time, in the year 1995. There were three girls named Annie, Krystina, and Abby. They were best friends. They loved to play together. One day they went for a walk in the forest. Then Abby felt something hit her foot. It was a pencil. While Annie and Krystina look at a nest up in a tree. Abby stuck it in her fannie pack. Then they contined thair walk. The next day at school, Abby took the pencil with her. Last night she fon out it was magic. So doing work was not hard. She just said "do my work now". And it did. Then Annie and Krystina fond out. So the next day was the big math test. So Abby use her magic pencil. And their math test was ten pages long. But Abby took her magic pencil out of her desk. And she fineshed in 5 minuetes. And the next day the day they found out their test scores. Annie and Krystina both got a A+. But Abby got a F-. So Abby had to take the test agin. But she took it with a reglur pencil. And she got a A+ too. And she throut away the magic pencil. And Annie, Krystina, and Abby are still friend to this very day. THE END.

I mean, I taught a moral (cheating is wrong and will get you no where in life) and my main character had a "fannie pack". Winner! Not too shabby for second grade.

Seriously, I just got a particular kick out of these three stories and thought I would share.

All material is © 2010 by Annie Petrella. :)

"Turn a new page, tear the old one out/ And I'll try to see things your way"

Hey, I clocked in just under the "I-Haven't-Written-in-a-Month" deadline. Go me! If I was a student in my class, I'd get a sticker for doing the right thing.

There hasn't been a book update in a while... so shall I? I shall. I'm in the process of editing (again) right now. While my mom read it, she was lovely and highlighted some errors (some on my part, some on Microsoft Words. Especially when it comes to autocorrecting a comma into a period in a quote). I've been reading backwards to catch mistakes as well as polish it. Remember how I was having serious issues coming up with simple words while writing SO? Like that one time I couldn't remember the word monologue and it took me five minutes and I almost had to ask a Starbucks worker? Yeah, since my brain took a nice long book break, I am coming up with better synonyms this time around. And I didn't even have to right click. :)

And to validate the past year of my life, I've been telling pretty much any and everyone about the book. People at work, Starbucks employees who assume I am still in school, friends of friends. People's reactions are always funny to me. Like when I finished writing the rough draft of SO, I got lots of congratulations from my friends and family. And not to sound ungrateful but I didn't think I deserved them. I think it's because I always knew deep down (even during moments of doubt i.e. chapters nine and fourteen) that I could write a book. And I did, plain and simple. It's the getting published that is going to be a major feat for me. Or just getting an agent and the possibility of getting published becoming more realistic.

But it's not impressive to me because that's the way my brain works. I write. I read. I can do those things. That's how I'm wired. That's normal to me so shouldn't everyone be able to do it?

But the more and more I tell people, the more I realize it is sort of uncommon. Only one woman said she had an idea for book so she wasn't as impressed (but she's asked me about the progress every now and then since). But everyone else who is impressed immediately follows it with, "I could never do that. My brain doesn't work that way". And maybe these are people who can solve any math problem, know all the elements on the Periodic Table, can get 102 points on a word in Words with Friends (Darn you AE!), or know all the team names in the NFL. My brain doesn't work that way (especially math and science) so I'm seriously impressed when your brain does. We're all different. And unique. And special. Oh geez, I'm seriously turning in a Preschool Teacher.

It also might be my age that throws people. But really, there is no "You must be THIS tall to write a book" sign posted outside of publishing houses. Why wait?

"She's so lucky/ She's a star"

I was editing the other day at Starbucks (I know. I finally found the strength to read through it again. And holy crap, there are SO many mistakes I missed. This is why you don't try to condense editing into two days people!) and a lady bug landed right on top of the pile of papers I was marking to within an inch of its life with a yellow highlighter. I think this is going to mean good things: 1) Ladybugs are lucky. 2) They are red and black. The setting is UGA!!! 3) The ladybug really refused to leave the pages as I tried to brush it away after my initial fascination. Maybe this means I will be scrappy when trying to get this thing published. Let's hope so!

"The dog days are done/ Can't you hear the horses/ Cause here they come"

How about a Square One update (or rather a short one since there isn't a whole lot to talk about)? Sister AE finished it! I think she actually finished the same day I complained on here about her taking a long time. And the verdict is, well read the following conversation:

AE: I really liked it.

Me: Yay! * tiny pause * But LA said she loved it.

AE: Same thing.

Me: Oh so when you talk to our nieces you tell them you "really like" them?

AE: Annie....

Me: Okay, okay.

So yay! The toughest sister down. AE reads A LOT. So I knew she'd been the hardest/most critical in terms of knowing what was going to happen since I dropped hints along the way towards the big reveal(s). Some of them she picked up on but I chalk that up to her reading a lot and knowing me pretty well. But luckily the biggest end-surprise she totally didn't see coming!!!! VICTORY!

But that might be short-lived because now it's been handed off to my mom. Every time I think the anxiety can't get any worse, it does. But after my mom reads it, I think that will be the end of my worries. Well until the first friend (TBD) reads it, then my worries will be over.

I have been taking a little break from SO. One friend is very encouraging and always asks for updates. When he asked the other day, I realized Crap, I haven't done anything in a good while since I've been waiting on LA and then AE to read it. So I opened it up to do a little editing and read three sentences and had to stop. I'm still rather sick of myself. But I think I am going to try to do each chapter backwards to catch the grammatical errors so that I am actually reading it instead of anticipating what is coming next.

Next step after editing it will be writing a query in hopes of getting an agent to pimp out my book to editors. I'm pretty nervous about writing the query. It's the blurb, the summary, the elevator pitch that explains your novel and you as an author. Yeah, no pressure. And we all know how much I hate giving away key plot points so this is going to be a toughy. Maybe I'll make sure do a solid round of editing first. And carefully read every single word. Twice, maybe even three times.

"Cause these things will change/ Can you feel it now/ These walls they put up to hold us back will fall down"

This is what Square One looked like when I first started "writing it" seven years ago:

Clearly I had high hopes at fifteen (but I also have a grandiose sense of humor). Oh the changes SO has gone through. First of all, I don't even think it had a title. Actually it may have but it was really lame and it gives away a plot point so we will just forget about that.

I originally wanted to write in journal format to mimic one of my favorite books at the time. Not the case with SO as it is now; it's a good old first-person narrative. And it's funny cause I came up with the idea at the end of the ninth grade. And that version of the story (seriously all three pages I wrote of it) took place at the beginning of the summer after the girl's freshmen year. See, I write what I know.

The names also changed. The girl's name was originally Allyson. But since one of my nieces currently has a name that is similar, that got the axe. The main guy was going to be named Andy because I've always loved that name for a boy but I switched it up in SO because it has more significance now. But I still like the name so it got passed on to my bro-in-law BR's character.

But the HUGE difference is this: I've always known two events were going to occur- Event A and event B. Event B was going to be caused by A. And originally I was going to have Event A happen in like the second chapter. But after thinking it through (for eight years) and changing the direction of the story (and growing up and experiencing new things), Event A is now in like chapter 14 or 15. So while I think I created a lot of background and foundation, it really was important so you got to know the characters and understood where the main girl character is coming and feeling. So while I've said I have known this idea since I was 15, it has definitely shape-shifted and transformed into the little story it is now. And with one happy reader and half of another one (AE sure is taking her sweet time. Sure, she has a job but COME ON! I'm dying here!), I think it was a good move.

Oh but I've always apparently had the "name characters after friends" tactic. One of my good friends at the beginning of high school was named Amanda. The name of the best friend in this version: Amanda. I'm so creative and don't show favoritism at all. At least some things don't change.

"I'll be fine once I get/ I'll be good ... I'm on the pursuit of happiness"

Son of a biscuit.

Since SO was pretty much etched in my mind for years, I've been brainstorming for the next one. Too soon? Maybe. But I do want to make a career out of this so I got to have more than one idea. So I have a pretty basic one. A plot summary, if you will. But it's hard to write 50,000 words about a 30 word idea. And I've been thinking about the characters and trying to create them and whatnot. A bunch of artsy-fartsy stuff. So I've really started to finalize the characters. I am getting more of the plot in my mind. Writing out spurts of dialogue to work in as I go. Everything I did with SO, minus the huge family (never again) and the setting. Things were going good

..... until.

I started reading a new book last night. Like I said, I don't read the backs of books cause inevitably something is given away and I want to avoid that. I got this book at McKay's and its by an author where I LOVE one of her other novels so I thought I'd give this one a try. So I'm reading and this is my thought process: Hey, this is kind of like what I came up * keeps reading * Oh no, this is pretty close to what I thought of * keeps reading * This is REALLY close. But as long as this certain thing doesn't happen, I'll be good. * keeps reading * Oh crap.

Now, just a big idea is sort of the same. But mine is already different. Just the act that leads to it is also the same. Ugh. But I mean there are a bazillion books out about human teenage girls falling in love with vampires and they are doing okay right?

And now I'm torn. Do I keep reading? Do I stop? The book is good. I do know how I want mine to end so it's not like I am getting ideas. Oh this stinks. What to do, what to do?

"This town is my home/ It's deep in my soul"

Oh! I happened to notice that this is my 100th post. Exciting. Well, kinda. Anywho...

I know you've all been waiting with bated breath for the answer to clue #3 from this post about a key element in SO. My mom (one of my most faithful readers. Thanks!) came sort of close with her guess about UGA football. So the answer is da da da daaaaaaa: Attending UGA is another major component in the book! At least I think that's why I made it two spaces instead of one (UGA) or three (University of Georgia). Either way, UGA all the way.

Oh, did I just lose some potential readers? Florida fans? Tech fans? Well don't worry I don't bash your schools coughtoomuchcough. Like I've said all along, my book is for the young adult crowd. Did I want to write a book about being in high school? No. Nor do teens want to read about having a job, paying bills and worrying about making rent so I opted for college. 1) I have experience. Four years worth actually. 2) When I was younger I felt like I read a lot of books about middle and high schoolers. Heck, the BSC eternally stayed in junior high. Gearing up for college, sure, and even law school but never really college. That doesn't mean they don't exist but I never stumbled across them (probably because it is something you're not supposed to write about knowing my luck). But the summer before I left for college, I re-read the books I had where the character was going through the same thing (with sweaty palms causing the book to slip out of my hands. I was scared, some may even say terrified of going to college). This way, I would know what to expect and all the awesomeness of college*. So rather than make up a fictional college (Georgia University) in Smathens, I thought why not just fully commit? So I did, I really did.

So UGA and Athens are a major player in the book. Restaurants, bars, and landmarks all make it into the book, or at least my favorite ones do. Do you think I lack all creativity? That might be a safe bet but this is the way I look at it: If I read a book that takes place in New York or New Orleans and the author names a restaurant, a bakery, or even a street, it might really exist. How should I know? I've don't live there; I don't know every nook and cranny of the city. It's just a little homage to the the greatest college town in the world (or the tenth according to away.com).

Plus, I write what I know. This should be obvious by now.

* If anyone has seen the "I Love College" music video by Asher Roth, a song that discusses $1 slices of pizza, skipping class, and beer pong, you know that a billion 14 year olds have commented is this what college is lyke?!?i cant wait 2 go!!!!! So really, I might have stumbled onto something brilliant.

"Let's lay these bones to rest/ Build it all over and start again ... We're nearly home"

I killed several trees today. I apologize to the environment. Sorry!

After making the font smaller, downsizing to single-spaced, and eliminating any unnecessary gaps, Square One is now 124 pages (down from 360). I printed it out so my sisters and mom can read the book without having to stare at a computer screen for hours. I'm used to it and don't even notice, but LA mentioned it so I thought I would make it easy on the rest.

I also learned that an ink cartridge only lasts for about 110 pages. Unless it is possible they just get tired and rebel by using less ink. Either way, I'm down a cartridge.

Well this stack of papers was put into a folder and handed off to sister AE this afternoon. I thought I was worried about sis LA reading it but the fears are somewhat tripled with AE. We talked books on the 1.5 hour drive to McKay's the other day. We are both rather critical. She could feel this way about SO. Plus she might also rip on my grammar. Or just the content in general. Or maybe about the fact that she doesn't like the name of her character. But heyyyy, maybe if she is nice I will let her change her name! Incentive AE, incentive.

And since I'm pressed for time since Thursday is an awesome tv night (Why'd they have to vote off Boston Rob?! Thank God Anthony is back on Project Runway. What happened to The Office?), I'll leave you with a little game. In the above picture is a clue as to another topic in the book. Remember this list of the five major played that influenced the book:

1. My family.

2. My friends.

3. _____ _____.

4. ___ ____ ______.

5. __ _____.

Well there's a hint to #3 in that above picture. Take some guesses (if you have already read the book or been told key elements, you cannot guess. Unless no one else does. Then feel free to be a winner by sort of cheating)! Good luck! Answer will be revealed, well the next time I get around to writing in this thing.

And now we wait...

"All my dreams are built around your face/ And this place/ All the times of staring at the sun/ You're the one"

Years ago, I used an index card as a bookmark and I would write down the page numbers where quotes that jumped out and caught my attention. Making me say "That's SO true" and reread it. Well, I leant a book to my sister AE which was housing the bookmark and she threw it away (thanks a lot). So I started keeping little scraps of paper with these quotes on them so I could remember them (and use them on my Facebook favorite quotes section). But that got to be a messy and I was starting to find good quotes in songs, movies, even Starbucks cups so I got a little journal from Target one day and started writing them down. I highly suggest this if you too are someone who likes the little golden nuggets of wisdom, or just the plain, sometimes heart-wrenching, truth. Here are a couple I've jotted down over the years:

"I've learned that things change, people change, and it doesn't mean you forget the past or try to cover it up... it simply means you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn't mean giving up... it means accepting that some things weren't meant to be." -Unknown

"At the end of the day, when it all comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of crap. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you, at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes that invasion of personal space can be exactly what you need." -Grey's Anatomy

"What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts." -The Last Kiss

"No it won't all go the way it should/ But I know the heart of life is good." -John Mayer

"But there are some things that, no matter how much we worry about them, we just have to face them, and most of the time they turn out not to be nearly as bad as we thought they would be. And sometimes they turn out to be wonderful." -The Accidental Mother

"It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In LA, nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we just crash into each other, just so we can feel something." -Crash

"Sometimes you just have to say exactly what you feel. In certain situations, you can't worry about how people react. You just have to be as honest as you can and let what happens afterward happen." -Love Walked In

"I wanted my stars clean and steady and spelling out a happy ending straight across the sky." -Love Walked In

"Picked all my weeds/ But kept the flowers" -Kelly Clarkson

"What was my worst first date? Uh, it was a couple of years ago, it was a lunch date actually. It was right down the street and we had just met and we really hit it off. It was kind of nice . And, um, and then as it turned out, it wasn't even a date because she was in love with someone else." -Jim Halpert

"The most important thing in your life is your family. There are days you love them and others you don't. But, in the end, they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself." -Sex & the City

"It's time for you to prove/ Within your ruby shoes/ You deserve a smile with no regret/ Look at you/ Kicking off your shoes/ Dancing for the world to see" -Erin McCarley

"She just didn't know what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. She believed there had to be something special out there for her, a path that was hers alone and held happiness at its end, but where was the start of it?" -Firefly Lane

So yeah, I tend to like the sappy, lovesick quotes. Whoops. And it makes me sad cause I haven't found a good new book quote in FOREVER (seriously like since before Christmas). Here's to hoping I do sometime soon (and heyyyyy maybe if the book ever gets published, someone will write one of mine in theirs! OH! New ultimate goal!)

"Talk is cheap/ Give me a word you can keep/ Cause I'm halfway gone and I'm on my way"

Jodi, Jodi, Jodi. *slowly shakes head from side to side* What happened? You used to be so good. And the last three books you've cranked out have been... well... disappointing. And that's me being generous with my adjectives (and very much aware of the fact you've sold about a bazillion more books that I have and probably ever will). I just finished reading House Rules, the latest from Picoult, late last night. It was one of those Stay-Up-Until-Five AM- Cause- I- Have- To- Know books but not in the usual Picoult sense. It was more so, let me finish this thing because I figured out "the twist" about 20 pages after the action started and was praying it wasn't going to be so simple and frankly, obvious.

Here's the plot summary for House Rules courtesy of GoodReads and honestly if you plan on reading the book, I wouldn't read the summary. You have to trudge through about 100 pages for the action to start since it is given away in blurb. If the blurb was a little more discrete or heck even more misleading, this could have been A LOT better. We know Picoult's gameplan: Current controversial issue, different POVs of family members and how they view each other and and consequently interact, a trial and then a big fat twist usual in the last fifteen pages if not fifteen sentences of the book. Anyway, here is the blurb: "HOUSE RULES is about Jacob Hunt, a teenage boy with Asperger’s Syndrome. He’s hopeless at reading social cues or expressing himself well to others, and like many kids with AS, Jacob has a special focus on one subject – in his case, forensic analysis. He’s always showing up at crime scenes, thanks to the police scanner he keeps in his room, and telling the cops what they need to do…and he’s usually right. But then one day his tutor is found dead, and the police come to question him. All of the hallmark behaviors of Asperger’s – not looking someone in the eye, stimulatory tics and twitches, inappropriate affect – can look a heck of a lot like guilt to law enforcement personnel -- and suddenly, Jacob finds himself accused of murder. HOUSE RULES looks at what it means to be different in our society, how autism affects a family, and how our legal system works well for people who communicate a certain way – but lousy for those who don’t."

You can't deny that she does extensive research about legal proceedings and this novel's hot topic Asperger's Syndrome (AS). But at the same time, she doesn't need to share every single note she took on the subject with her reader. It almost gets to the point that she beats you over the head with it. I GET IT. Jacob doesn't understand idioms. He physically can't make eye contact. He is only looking out for himself but not out of selfishness but rather that's the way his brain works. I GET IT. And usually the trial is my favorite part but this one just did not do it for me. Maybe it's because the lawyer, Oliver, is such a newbie and I don't see how he got such experts to testify on a supposedly "uncharted topic of AS" (please, Nicky Sparks beat ya to that one, Jodi), I don't know. All I know is that part fell flat for me.

At least Picoult broke from her usual mold of creating a mother you just hate and dread where you get to the chapters from her POV. Emma wasn't too terrible. You didn't hate her like you did the mother in Handle with Care or The Pact. She wasn't great but at least you pretty much understood where she was coming from. I didn't understand why she included the POV of the police detective since he pretty much drops off the map for the second half of the book. Theo's POV was the most interesting and compelling in my opinion and wish she would have included more from him.

I think my main compliant with this book is you just saw the big twist coming from a mile away, well actually make that 400 pages away. I thought, surely this isn't the usual Picoult "Smack you in the gut and turn you on your head" twist but, it was. Sigh. And then she doesn't even give you a resolved ending. She drops the supposed "bomb" on you in the last five or ten pages and then... nothing. So... what happened? I sure don't know and I'm not even sure Picoult does herself hence her overly ambiguous ending. It's not even ambiguous in the "You can decide what happened way" it just... ends.

Oh and I know this is nit-picking but seriously it's Jodi freaking Picoult. Maybe she is such a hot commodity that they are just cranking out a book a year and doing it as fast as they can so they can cash in on her. But seriously that is why copy editors exist, to catch the mistakes of the author who is simultaneously researching, writing, and editing and therefore very much distracted. On one page she says Jacob can't stand long, flowing hair so he keeps his "military short". But several other times the mom talks about his hair falling in his eyes and smoothing his hair away from his face. Gee, that's not contradicting. And then another time she talks about a grandmother making something for her grandson but later she says the mother made that very item for her son instead. Come on! It's a major plot point hence my discreteness, you can't have that kind of sloppy writing and editing.

The book was interesting, sure, but unfortunately this time around, it wasn't a page turner because I just had to know what was going to happen next but rather I was just hoping Jodi was going to prove me wrong and throw me a curve ball. Maybe she just set the bar WAY too high for herself with works like My Sister's Keeper and The Pact but she has really got to do something to keep all of her faithful readers around for the next one.

Now I understand why Jodi does what she does. I complain about her being predictable and I don't know if it is just because I know to look for clues and how she has written in her previous 15+ novels. I mean every author drops the reader some bread crumbs along the way so they feel like they have your trust and they are partaking as opposed to merely being an observer. But you don't have to give me exhibit A and B and C and so on, all the way to Z all the while repeating A and B and C throughout the novel. Give me a little of A and then maybe a little N and then maybe X, almost to the end but not quite. I guess there is one particular point in Square One that I overly explain. Just because the character can't connect the dots on their own but that doesn't mean your intelligent reader doesn't. In fact that is number one on the list of changes for SO: I gotta take out some examples so it doesn't seem like I'm hitting you over the head with it. Sure, I want you to realize it and have an "a-ha!" moment but maybe once I actually reveal it to you as opposed to when it actually happens in the narrative. Does that make sense? Sure hope so.

Now I'm not giving up on Jodi just yet and I still admire a lot about her writing style and she definitely knows who she is as an author. But if I figure out the twist in the first 100 pages of the next one (yet again, I did this with Change of Heart as well. But that was seriously in the first 10 pages), I just might not be dancing with excitement about her new releases anymore. Come on Jodi! Prove me wrong! You can do it (said in Bella's Karolyi's voice)!

"Make a scene/ Make a scream/ Like you're losing your mind/ And you'll always be next in line"

So while my sister is busy reading and telling me her thoughts (all good so far! And it's so funny cause I know this book backwards and forwards but no one else knows anything about it. And I know that's obvious but it's so nice to have someone to talk about it with now!) I've started working on my second idea. Too soon? Maybe. But I think it was my brother JP who asked if I had an idea for another book. And I realized... well... yes I do but it's definitely not as fleshed out as Square One was. So I've started working on it. Plus, I've heard about people who have gotten their second book published before their first and so maybe that could happen with this one!

I honestly don't even know how I came up with the idea. I just remember I was reading before going to bed one night and an idea popped into my head. So I scrambled to jot it down in a note on my iPhone and now I'm working on an outline. Well actually, I'm not even there yet. I'm trying to come up with characters first. Cause the characters in Square One were just givens: My family was my family. This girl is based on this person. This guy is a combination for this guy and that guy. In this new one.... I don't know who they are. Yet.

And it's funny cause I make little charts and profiles for each character to keep their facts and characteristics straight so I had a side-by-side list running down a page in my Idea Book about these two male characters. And it almost looked like I was making a pros/cons list about two guys. And this twenty-something year old guy saw me writing while he was waiting for his drink at Starbucks, I could tell he was standing over me and reading it. You can think I was imagining it but I pointedly starting flipping the cover open and shut as if I was fidgeting while thinking and I noticed it broke the guy's trance. Not cool, dude. Not cool. Just funny because he probably told his friend "That girl is in there making a list about which of two dudes to choose and is listing all their traits like that episode of Friends!" but that is not the case at all.

I'm excited about this idea though. It's definitely different from Square One. It is even sort of an homage to LOST Season 6 in ways (even though I came up with the idea before S6 started). There's a big stinking clue to all you LOST fans aka very cool people. And it's funny because with SO, the chunk of writing that I built everything around was the prologue. With this new one, it's actually a scene that will probably be towards the end. It's like I have these puzzle pieces of scenes that I am trying to fit together into one big picture. Just strange how the creative process works, cause I have no idea and I'm experiencing it (sort of... don't wanna brag).

"He is sensible and so incredible/ ... He says everything I need to hear/ And it's like I couldn't ask for anything better"

Want to know the two traits that Pride and Prejudice's Mr. Darcy, Sense and Sensibility's Edward Ferrars, Twilight's Edward Cullen, Something Borrowed's Dexter, and The Truth About Forever's Wes all have in common? 1) They are all perfect and 2) They were written by women. And the first reason is very much because of the second. You know why? Because women writers, as much as we try to "think" like boys, still ultimately write their male characters like the females (just with less pink and jewelry) and that's why they are seemingly perfect. They say and do the right thing and they make you cry happy tears at the lovely, loose- ends- all- tied- up- in- a- pretty- package conclusion. And it's because women are writing what they would want to hear, what they would want to happen as opposed to what would be more likely to happen in real life. I'm not saying happy endings aren't possible, I'm just saying the words and actions used to get there probably aren't as good as they are in literature.

The main guy in Square One is too good to be true in my opinion. And that's because he's not true, he's not real. I made him up, gave him some endearing characteristics and as much I tried to think like a guy for his dialogue and actions, I'm not a boy so I can't write that. Plus if I did try to write a boy, it would just be filled with grunts and mumbles and "I dunnos". And that's not a very good story (especially by someone like me where I really use dialogue and conversations as the main source of information).

But that's why we ladies love Darcy and Edward: They were written by Austen and Meyer and they had them say and do things that probably wouldn't happen in real life. It's just something I've realized as I reflect on the development and actions of my characters. And I'm not saying that a man can't write a good love story (e.g. Nicholas Sparks), it's just these "perfect romantic male leads in literature" have all been created and written by women.

"I'm like a bird/ I'll only fly away/ I don't know where my soul is/ I don't know where my home is'

Twenty-five out of twenty-eight chapters done for the second round of editing. I have never been so sick of myself in my life. Reading words I wrote, characters I created, little lines I thought were so cute and witty--- I hate it all. And it's not even like I can simply skim over it. I have to actually read it for little mistakes like "begin" when it should really be "being". Ugggggh. But apparently you are supposed to really hate and lose faith and never want to look at the book again for a few months before sending it out. So that's good news cause I am totally there.

I basically spent my entire weekend at Starbucks editing. I would start off so enthusiastically: "Oh I am starting on chapter 6. I can probably make it to chapter 20 in a few hours and call it a night." ...Two hours pass... "Oh no, I'm only on chapter 8. How did I waste two hours on two stinking chapters. Okay let's try to make it at least to chapter 15." ... Two more hours pass... "Chapter 12 is done? Okay, all finished for today."

But I mean really, it is 359 pages and 111,043 words. TOO. MUCH.

Do you enjoy little stories about my stupidity when it comes to editing? Well here come some!

- Leaving off the "-n't" completely changes the sentence. Obvious? Yes. But I know what I am trying to say but sometimes I don't read what I've actually written. I've made this mistake at least twice in crucial sentences.

- I have a lot of "gripping" in the book. Seats, chairs, podiums, tables, banisters. But I guess that makes sense since my characters don't breathe properly. They need all the help they can get.

- ERRONEOUS COMMAS. Seriously, I use them like they are going out of style and I found them on super clearance with an additional fifty percent off. I have to stop.

- There are only so many ways to say someone wraps/ curls/ slung their arm around your waist or shoulders. And I pretty much just listed the three ways to do it.

- Luckily in my Advanced Composition class (a fancy way of saying non-fiction writing) we talked about editing and how to get the most punch out of a single sentence by omitting unnecessary words (even though we students argued that we put in the fluff to meet the teacher's ridiculous page/word length requirement). But this has come in handy while editing especially in terms of possession and the word "of". Why say "the edge of the table" when you can just say "the table's edge"? Sure it only saves me two words but multiply that by 1,000 and this thing is probably 2,000 words shorter than it could have been.

- And thank you B'Way in AP English for teaching me not to split the infinitive. See? I even did it just now: "not to split" instead of "to not split".

- "Just" is still a problem. But I've just accepted it by this point. And no I did not purposely use it just then. Or then. I'll stop now.

- Definitely found a few spots where I used my sibling's real name instead of their character name. Most certainly will be doing a search of each person's name before this whole thing is done. So pretty much in three hours.

- Two of my favorite words I like to use: Nonetheless and albeit. Don't know why I love 'em but I do and always have.

- I have overused the word "surprised" and its synonyms. Apparently my characters are easily impressed (well, that or dumb).

- And the absolute worst part of editing: I have the scenes so clearly imagined in my head. I know what I need to say, I know what I need to get across. So I will be editing and find a word that I don't care for. So I think for a minute before coming up with an awesome new amazing word. So I delete and replace the stinky word with the new word. I give myself a mental pat on the back and continue on my way. Only to skip down three lines and... oh... I already used the perfect word here. So that's why it seemed so perfect. And it's back to square one.

And seriously, people watching at Starbucks never disappoints. Yesterday the terrible twosome reappeared with their mom and her much younger boyfriend/fiance who felt the need to make out in the middle of the place. Classy. I also found out the satanic children's names and am fighting the urge to change my brother's name in the book since it is the same as one of the little demons. Here were the highlights from our encounter:

1. The older boy came in and yelled, no, make that screamed, at one of the workers that he needed a cup of water. George the Worker held up a finger (not the one I would have chosen) and said "One minute, I'm with a customer". Well the kid kept screaming until finally someone else got him the cup. Which he promptly took to a table and wrenched the lid off and spilled, I'd say, 1/4 of its contents on the table and floor, stuck his straw with the paper still on it into the cup, and ripped off the now wet paper and threw it on the ground. It was at this point that I actually gave the children, yes children, dirty looks. They were behaving horribly and I was appalled.

2. The younger boy was eating a brownie or a cupcake or something and dropped it on the ground. The older brother stepped on it with his shoe and mushed it onto the floor, refusing to lift his foot. The little boy still ate it when it was finally relinquished two minutes later (he also spent these two minutes spinning in circles directly next to me yet again).

3. I did see the mom's boyfriend/ fiance throw the kid down in a chair outside and grab his face and scream at him for sliding across the hood of the mom's convertible. But it was probably more so for doing potential damage to the car as opposed to actually disciplining the little hellion.

Fortunately, the kids weren't there today (Just for the record, the first time I wrote that sentence, I forgot the "-n't". I have a problem). But I did get to encounter this:

Yeah, that's a parrot (that talks and scratches its master's head with his beak) in the middle of Starbucks. Does this not violate some type of health code? My best friend in high school was terrified of birds. It's a relatively common fear. I sort of wanted to see someone freak out. One lady kept her distance while clutching her chest but that was the best I got.

There was also a high school aged looking girl (named Haven, I saw it on her notebook) who sat down with what I assumed was her dad at the table next to me. Haven kept turning around and looking over her shoulder in my direction. There is no way to make some feel more self conscious than doing this 50 times in 10 minutes. You can think I'm exaggerating but I happened to look at the seconds on my clock right when it was a new minute and I thought, hey just for kicks, let's count how many times in 60 seconds she looks over. I didn't pick a particularly active minute just to prove a point. It was a completely random minute. How many times in sixty seconds? FOUR TIMES. Multiply that by the 30 minutes she was sitting near me and I actually fought the urge to ask her to switch seats with her dad so she would at the very least stop glancing over her shoulder and could just look straight ahead and out the window. At first I thought she was just trying to see the parrot since the man did go outside but then I guess she was just waiting on her math tutor to get there. Haven, staring is rude but so is blogging about strangers so who I am to talk?

Oh and way to get your act together Atlanta. BEAUTIFUL weather this weekend. Hard to believe there was snow on the ground a week ago. Let's keep it in the sixties this week, please!

"When all you've got to keep is strong/ Move along, move along like I know you do"

Round one of editing: Done! And what does that mean exactly? Wellll, I knew going into it there were certain chapters where I was going to have to increase the description and detailing because I sort of slacked on it in the beginning. And there was a certain aspect were I needed more examples of it, so I had to write it. So I've now increased the final page count to 356 (ten page increase) and the word count is 109, 643. Do you know how insane that word count is? I think that once you go over 100,000 it can't even show it in the little box anymore. I broke Microsoft Word!

Speaking of Microsoft Word: They need to release a hip, updated, down-with-today's-lingo version. I ran spell and grammar check for the first time today and it seriously took forty-five minutes. And more often than not I was hitting "ignore" as opposed to taking one of their suggestions. Words that should be included and not get the squiggly red line of death:

-iPod, earbuds, and playlists. Yes, iTunes does play a role in the book. :)

-Woah, Geez, and "oh my gosh". For some reason "oh my gosh" gets the green grammar squiggle. Not sure why.

-homegirl, douchebag, skank. Terms of endearment? Nah.

-Lip gloss. No hyphen necessary.

-No space necesssary in "Coldplay" or "gameday"

- Text, texted, texting. Oh geez, the red is freaking out on here too. THEY ARE WORDS. Text messaging is a main form of communication today, just accept it Microsoft.

Also, I heard on What Not to Wear or maybe my sister told me after hearing it herself that purple is a color that compliments virtually every skin tone. Some of my friends (I'm looking at you HW and NV) have some of the cutest dresses I have ever seen. The color of previously mentioned dresses? Purple! So apparently, I've remembered this fact in my subconscious because anytime I've mentioned a skirt, dress, top, nailpolish on any of the female characters, what has the color been? Purple. And I feel like I'm now overcompensating on overusing purple and now it's almost been completely eradicated. I wish I could be cool and "a producer on LOST-like" and have it so that the colors are symbolic of the mood or represent an action but, I'm not that cool.

Literature also plays a role in the book and I really wanted to be cool like they are on LOST and have the books mentioned mirror themes in the book. But since I'm sort of not 100 percent sure what my "theme" is, I couldn't really accomplish that. Maybe in the next one, if there is a next one.

Also, a little vent time: I really don't care for parents who treat Starbucks like it is a playground for their kids. There are no clowns, animatronic mice or happy meals here, so please leave. This one lady, I've seen her around before and I'm sorry but she has always seemed a little strange to me. Anyway, she comes in today, by herself, and then starts talking to this other woman. A good five minutes later, her children who had apparently been playing outside unsupervised came waltzing in. They had little toy guns and were shooting people and running back and forth down the pathway in the restaurant. There is another woman who frequents Starbucks and has a cane so she has trouble walking (she gets the VIP treatment from the employees) and one little boy crashed right into her, causing her to be off balanced. Any apology from him or the mother? Nope. She is too busy yapping at the table in the complete back of the store. One little boy stood about three inches away from my table and spun in circles for two minutes straight, obstructing the path through the restaurant. It was at this point that I seriously contemplated getting out my phone and taking a picture and tweeting it. I wouldn't have even been discreet. If he (or his mother) saw me I would have said "Yeah, I'm sharing with the world what a little brat you/your kid is. You should be embarrassed." And the little boys were playing outside, again unsupervised, where there are cars and potential kidnappers. One kid was climbing onto the newspaper stand and pretending to shoot his little brother. These kids were only 4 and 6 for the record by my guesstimate. So then the four year old came in and told his mom he was thirsty and she gave him her debit card and told him to get it himself. Are you serious? A four year old? And then this sweet grandmother lady was there with her two grandkids (who were perfectly behaved) and the boys are running around and she said to the barista "I don't know who they are with" because she too was befuddled by the complete lack of parenting and supervision by their supposed mother. I seriously think you should have to pass a test or take a class or something in order to become certified to be a parent. It was truly appalling. And I have no problem with children. I have seven nieces. I've worked at a day camp. I babysit. There was even a precious little girl yesterday at Starbucks, toddling around and picking up bags of coffee and putting it back. She was precious with her little curls and light up pink sneakers. These little hellions today though, they were an entirely different story.

Oh I also apparently have a "Attention Creepy Old Men: PLEASE Talk to Me!" sign on my forehead that I am unaware of. Well this man wasn't creepy but he came up to me the other day and started telling me how he has owned several different Macs and apparently one like my iBook but it had a seam on the keyboard so he sent it back to the store. Are you confused? I was too so I just nodded my head along until he had to leave after a few minutes. Another old man raced up to me and asked if I was on the internet. I said no and that you have to pay to use it and he corrected me by saying you need a card and then just walked off. It was strange. Oh and there is a man who makes me think of Ralph Lauren and he is super nice when we have to share the outlet. I like him.

And seriously some of the conversations you overhear when your iPod is switching to the next song are unbelievable. There was a lady with a crystal hanging over a map or diagram of some sort and yelling on her phone with a client who had apparently lost someone and was very upset. Why she chose to do her line of work in the middle of a corporate company like Starbucks and not out in nature is beyond me. She also asked Mr. Fake-Ralph-Lauren if he had ever lost someone. Maybe I left out the part where Ralph Lauren is at least 65 if not 75. He answered his parents and she replied "I just knew it". Thank you Captain Obvious. Cause a 70 year old is still going to have his parents around. And they talked some mumbo-jumbo for a few minutes. And then I heard the tail of a story where she said when she turns 60 later this year she is going to get a tattoo on her butt that says "I Love Steve" cause she made a bet with herself when she was 40. She was a whackadoodle.

"Say it again for me/ Say it again"

To edit or not to edit? That is the question.

Well not really, the answer is "to" since my super understanding mother has put a deadline on these shenanigans and is pushing me a little bit more (read: a lot more) to enter the working world (cowers in corner, sucking thumb). So I've got to get this thing done. Well you know before passing it off to a select few family members, and then more editing when they inevitably think that it's all rubbish, and then finding an agent/editor (cowers in corner, sucking thumb and sobbing for her mommy).

ANYWAY, one of the hardest things about writing is making the people seem real. And no, that doesn't mean making them have defining characteristics, giving them a voice or physically describing them. What I mean is making them seem real, having them move, do every day little things. I don't know why I feel so awkward when I write these little bits. Cause do you need to read about her crossing the room to talk to another person? No. But she's not Harry Potter and can't just apparate across the room so I have to throw in random sentences so she seems real.

Oh I can't believe I am using this as an example. Cringes. But it's like in Twilight/Breaking Dawn when (spoiler alert!) Bella becomes a vampire but keeps it a secret to her former family members so Rosalie and Alice tell her to "act human". Never sit still for too long, cross and uncross her legs, tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, twiddle her thumbs. Sort of like that. Note: No vampires will be appearing in this story.

I also feel like I lose more and more credibility with each passing post. But hey, I openly admit at this point I am writing for a 15 year old girl. It's just ironic the majority of people that know are guys who are 22 or older.

So the actions I find myself repeating the most often are:

- answering a cell phone. Or worse, looking for a cell phone in a bag to answer it. But cell phones are such an integral part of today's culture. It's not like I am going to have her talking on a landline... (seriously, I don't think I have the "home" number for one of my friends from college. Heck, I think the only home numbers I have are my own, and my brother and sister's families. But I digress from my point... like always)

- Standing up or sitting down. Flop, slump, crash, drop, ease, slid, slip, - there are only so many ways to communicate moving downward into a chair/seat. And she can't just stand up the entire time. Geez.

- Laughing or smiling. And apparently all my characters are sarcastic or secretive cause they are always trying to muffle/ stifle/ hide/ or conceal a giggle/ laugh/ chuckle or my personal favorite, chortle. I seriously gotta up the funny so they can openly laugh.

- Taking a deep breath/ sighing/ exhaling. My character does not breathe properly apparently.

- And on a similar note, there are only so many ways to say a person is crying/sobbing or have tears sliding/gliding/slipping/seeping down one's face.

- Opening and shutting doors. You have to do it to get places. How many doors do you open and shut in one day? How many times? The answer: A lot. And if you factor in car doors, forget it.

- Walking across a room/ up the stairs/ down the stairs/ over to someone.

Maybe I am just hyper sensitive to it and then I really harp on it since I feel like it keeps happening over and over and I'm really the only one who notices. But... now I'm making you notice it.. and now it will bother you... Whoops.

It's just. So few words. For so many actions. Are you losing faith in the book? Join the club!

"Every word feels like a shooting star ... I'm terrified/ For the first time in the last time in my only life"

I'M DONE!!!!!!

...........I'm done?

...................I'm done?!?!?

Final Count (First Draft):

28 chapters (plus prologue and epilogue)

106,093 words

346 pages

Now onto to the MASSIVE edits. This should be fun (sarc mark).

"So what you say, we give it up and walk away/ We're overrated, anyway"

I think I am writing a book that if I were a reader, I would hate.

....Let me backtrack....

I always hate books that sucker punch you or have something HUGE in the last few chapters and then all of the sudden tie everything together in the last two or three chapters. I just need MORE. More of an absolute ending or have the ending actually play out instead of just a suggestion of it. It was almost like maybe the author ran out of steam, didn't know what else to do, just threw their hands up in the air, and walked away from their computer.

But as I am writing one, I'm realizing, that's really just what you have to do. A) You don't want to read about someone crying/freaking out/just plain existing for 10 chapters during the repair/grief/recovery/reconciliation process and then B) once you have your ending, have it drag on for five more chapters to show that the person lives happily ever after/ is exactly the same/ moves on/ or whatever your ending is.

You gotta have something peak at the end of the book otherwise, why would the person trudge through twenty-five chapters just to have nothing happen? You gotta have a peak to pique your reader's interest. Haha.

Just something I am realizing as this sucker comes to a close. I know I've talked a lot about beginning to love a character and wanting to see what happens to them/ understanding what they are experiencing/ having sympathy for them. But its hard to do that as an author (which I totally don't consider myself to be) and have your story maintain your reader's interest if you just have filler everywhere. These are the little things I am learning and starting to appreciate more as I read other novels.

Book update:

27 chapters.

329 pages.

101,239.

Today was successful Starbucks day. And I wasn't even in my creative chair.

"I'm only singing what life's been bringing/ If you feel it why don't you sing along"

I've always been a big fan of music. But honestly, who isn't? I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that they hate music. And if I ever do, they will probably be strange. ANYWAY, if you haven't noticed, I use song lyrics as the title of each post. I usually try to make them relate to the post in some way but every now and then, especially if it is a nonsensical post, I opt to use whatever song I currently like.

I think the obsession kicked into high gear once I got an iPod my senior year of high school. That thing was my saving grace freshman year of college since I was on less than good terms with my roommate. I listened to that thing all the time: Walking to class, studying, writing papers. It might as well have been attached to my hand (and a coffee cup in the other). It got to the point that if I forgot it at home, I couldn't study. I'm a little co-dependent on it, I guess.

iTunes has always been my weakness and I blame this on shows like Grey's Anatomy and Laguna Beach/The Hills (both of which I used to be obsessed with but not so much anymore). I think being the music editor on a show like that would be AWESOME. Sifting through tons of songs to find the perfect song for a particular scene. Honestly, I have a playlist from songs I downloaded from those three shows. I just love it when the lyrics and music match the tone and mood of the scene perfectly.

I became so obsessed with trying to have a literal soundtrack to my life. One of my good friends left for college when I was still in high school and I was pretty upset. And since I don't claim to have the best taste in music ever, I did go to Target two days after he left for Athens to buy the, uh, ahem, Ryan Cabrera cd. What? His first single "On the Way Down" was really catchy. ANYWAY, so I put the cd in when I got into my car and keep in mind I was super sad that my friend was gone at UGA. And the lyrics to the song were:

"Two days chasing me around/ I go crazy when you're outside of my world ... I feel forty kinds of sadness when you're gone/ I feel the same thing always happens when you're gone/ I know you're just around the corner/ But just around the corner is not enough."

I think I was a dork and actually said "They would play this song if I was on Laguna Beach!" I was driving my car, tears in my eyes, listening to a song (as pop-py and cliched as it was) that totally captured the moment. He had been gone for two days. He was just around the corner in another town but it wasn't enough. And I was really sad. It was so perfect! And I always think about that moment whenever I hear that song when I am shuffling through my library.

Honestly, if I had the option of making my life a musical, I would totally do it. People breaking out into spontaneous song with choreographed dancing? Dramatic, heartfelt solos when I'm sad? AH-MAZING. And listen to the wise words of Phoebe from Friends if you don't agree with me:

Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
(Rachel enters from her room.)
Rachel: Morning!
Phoebe: They'll never know how it ends.

Phoebe: I'm telling you! Oh, okay! This is the part of the musical where there'd be a really good convincing song. (Singing) "Bam-bam, don't take no for an answer. Bam-bam, don't let love fly away. Bam-bam-bam-bam..."
(Rachel enters and interrupts Phoebe's song.)
Rachel: Hi!
Phoebe: Can't a girl finish a song around here?

What's my whole point? I am using song lyrics at the beginning of each chapter that set the tone. If anything ever happens with this dang thing actually getting published, I'm sure copyright laws will be some issue or something but we will cross that bridge when we get to it. But I like to think I have picked very appropriate song lyrics for each chapter in terms of matching the mood and voice. And I made all of the songs a "Book" playlist and I think it's fantastic.

Book update: Mid-Chapter 25.

313 pages.

95,651 words

Oh and I ended up with a name for ### boy (whenever I hit a part where I don't know what to do I use #s so I can find it later and edit). I ran into one of my guy friends and he again pestered me about my plans and I broke down and told him. He was super supportive (literally yelling "I can't wait to read your book!" as I walked away) so ta-da he got named. Thanks TA! :)

"But honestly .... tonight I thank the stars ... for everything you've given me"

A breakthrough! I think I figured out why I use the word "just" so much. I use it in place of the word "but". For example: "It was just that we had gone so long without speaking that..." has now become "But we had gone so long without speaking that...". I know this seems minor and insignificant and probably even obvious to you but I cannot tell you how many times I have used the word just. Seriously at least two times on each page. It's like a sickness. So this little realization will be helpful in the parts where I can't simply delete the "just".

Seriously, I need to become nocturnal. I think so much more clearly at night. I would say half of my ideas have been right as I am falling asleep. And then I have to either 1) Repeat it to myself three times in a weak attempt to remember it in the morning, 2) Get out of bed and write it down in my idea book, or 3) Make a note in my iPhone (this one is the most common).

Back to editing chapter 24!