"I'm only singing what life's been bringing/ If you feel it why don't you sing along"

I've always been a big fan of music. But honestly, who isn't? I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that they hate music. And if I ever do, they will probably be strange. ANYWAY, if you haven't noticed, I use song lyrics as the title of each post. I usually try to make them relate to the post in some way but every now and then, especially if it is a nonsensical post, I opt to use whatever song I currently like.

I think the obsession kicked into high gear once I got an iPod my senior year of high school. That thing was my saving grace freshman year of college since I was on less than good terms with my roommate. I listened to that thing all the time: Walking to class, studying, writing papers. It might as well have been attached to my hand (and a coffee cup in the other). It got to the point that if I forgot it at home, I couldn't study. I'm a little co-dependent on it, I guess.

iTunes has always been my weakness and I blame this on shows like Grey's Anatomy and Laguna Beach/The Hills (both of which I used to be obsessed with but not so much anymore). I think being the music editor on a show like that would be AWESOME. Sifting through tons of songs to find the perfect song for a particular scene. Honestly, I have a playlist from songs I downloaded from those three shows. I just love it when the lyrics and music match the tone and mood of the scene perfectly.

I became so obsessed with trying to have a literal soundtrack to my life. One of my good friends left for college when I was still in high school and I was pretty upset. And since I don't claim to have the best taste in music ever, I did go to Target two days after he left for Athens to buy the, uh, ahem, Ryan Cabrera cd. What? His first single "On the Way Down" was really catchy. ANYWAY, so I put the cd in when I got into my car and keep in mind I was super sad that my friend was gone at UGA. And the lyrics to the song were:

"Two days chasing me around/ I go crazy when you're outside of my world ... I feel forty kinds of sadness when you're gone/ I feel the same thing always happens when you're gone/ I know you're just around the corner/ But just around the corner is not enough."

I think I was a dork and actually said "They would play this song if I was on Laguna Beach!" I was driving my car, tears in my eyes, listening to a song (as pop-py and cliched as it was) that totally captured the moment. He had been gone for two days. He was just around the corner in another town but it wasn't enough. And I was really sad. It was so perfect! And I always think about that moment whenever I hear that song when I am shuffling through my library.

Honestly, if I had the option of making my life a musical, I would totally do it. People breaking out into spontaneous song with choreographed dancing? Dramatic, heartfelt solos when I'm sad? AH-MAZING. And listen to the wise words of Phoebe from Friends if you don't agree with me:

Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
(Rachel enters from her room.)
Rachel: Morning!
Phoebe: They'll never know how it ends.

Phoebe: I'm telling you! Oh, okay! This is the part of the musical where there'd be a really good convincing song. (Singing) "Bam-bam, don't take no for an answer. Bam-bam, don't let love fly away. Bam-bam-bam-bam..."
(Rachel enters and interrupts Phoebe's song.)
Rachel: Hi!
Phoebe: Can't a girl finish a song around here?

What's my whole point? I am using song lyrics at the beginning of each chapter that set the tone. If anything ever happens with this dang thing actually getting published, I'm sure copyright laws will be some issue or something but we will cross that bridge when we get to it. But I like to think I have picked very appropriate song lyrics for each chapter in terms of matching the mood and voice. And I made all of the songs a "Book" playlist and I think it's fantastic.

Book update: Mid-Chapter 25.

313 pages.

95,651 words

Oh and I ended up with a name for ### boy (whenever I hit a part where I don't know what to do I use #s so I can find it later and edit). I ran into one of my guy friends and he again pestered me about my plans and I broke down and told him. He was super supportive (literally yelling "I can't wait to read your book!" as I walked away) so ta-da he got named. Thanks TA! :)

"Lost and insecure/ You found me/ Lying on the floor/ Surround me/ Why'd you have to wait/ Where were you/ A little late/ You found me"

The final season of LOST premieres tonight and I honestly do not remember the last time I was THIS excited about something. I wasn't even this excited about this past Christmas and I live for that holiday. Since it's the last season (sob) we should be getting some answers. I just re-watched season five in the past week so I took some notes as I watched about what I need to know about. I've come to terms that not every little detail is going to get explained but I want some answers about:

Note Locke is the only one with his back turned. Significant? Probably.

Overall Mysteries:

-The significance of the numbers. 4 8 15 16 23 42. Is it just something to drive us viewers crazy? And whenever the producers needed to use a random number for an address or a flight number they already had six at their disposal? Was it just so Hurley would come to the island? WHAT DO THEY MEAN?

-The smoke monster. It's a security system. It judges people and decides if they can live. It makes clicking sounds and some people see white (I think only Locke) while others see black. Ben can summon it by pulling a plug in a drain (lame). And it can take the forms of other people. Is Smokey just the anti-Jacob? More on him later.

-Who are Adam and Eve? My money is now on Bernard and Rose. Minus the whole black and white stones deal, in the S5 finale, Bernard said "What does it matter if we're dead? As long as we are together?" I think this was sort of like in The Sixth Sense when the creepy little kid is saying how the people don't know they are dead and the camera is focused on Bruce Willis. The producers thought it was a dead (pun?) give away. I think this is also the case with B&R.

- I know the polar bears were turning the frozen donkey wheel but why polar bears? Just cause it was cold down there? Just to drive all of us crazy?

- What is up with the Black Rock? Why is it so important? Was it carrying Richard and he's been around ever since? Why is it in the middle of the island and carrying dynamite?

The Island:

-The "war". Who is it between? Are the Losties and Others going to team up against a new third party?

-If you're born on the island does that mean you have super powers? Ethan had superhuman strength/wouldn't die. Miles can talk to dead people. Maybe Daniel was too and that's why he is so brilliant?

-I think Eloise is the biggest villain on this show. She sent her own son to die. I knew it happened in the past so it needed to happen but really. I don't think this lady is at all good. And why does she leave the island? Why does she relinquish the power of being the leader? Or is she forced out cause she is pregs?

-Is Richard dead? Why doesn't he age? Why does he have such thick eyelashes giving him the appearance of eyeliner? Why has he been around forever yet he is always an advisor and never the leader? Cause the leader always dies/is banished? Why wouldn't he want a promotion?

-Is Ben good? Bad? Just in it for himself? Does he ever tell the truth?!

- Why did Naomi say there were "deceased RESIDING" on the island? Weird choice of words. Does that mean dead is not in fact dead?

- Was Kate flirting with Ben's dad, Roger? Did she want to be the mother of Ben's step-sibling? Gross.

- What was up with the brain washing room they had Karl in in the third season? What was the point of it?

- Who does Juliet look like? Ben's mom? The lady in the picture? Does this mean anything?

- Why was there a circle of ash around Jacob's cabin? To keep him in or others/Others out?

-What is in the guitar case Hurley is toting around these days?

-What the heck happened to Claire? Is she dead? Is she alive? Did someone take over her body? Why is she the only one to say they can't go back? Was that an evil force at work or the truth?

- What are the rules that Ben and Widmore are playing by? Why can't they kill each other? Is it like the Jacob and Anti-Jacob deal?

Who are you and why are you important:

-Christian Shepard, Jack's dad= good? bad? evil? awesome? WHO IS HE?!?

-Who is the economist? Is he in charge of the Ilana/Bram/third party that is now showing up?

- Did Locke's girlfriend Helen really die? Or was that fake just so Locke wouldn't give up on his mission to bring the Oceanic 6 back?

- Who is the "creative fellow" who invented the lamppost/found the island in the first place? Faraday? Richard? Someone we haven't met yet? Vincent for crying out?

- Why was Ilana in the hospital? What happened to her? Why do I just think of her as being Ana Lucia 2.0?

- Jack's grandfather, Ray, what's his deal? I find it hard to believe they introduced him solely to so Jack could get a pair of his dad's shoes. Grandpa Shepard a previous island inhabitant? I won't be surprised.

- What happened to Annie, Ben's little girlfriend? Besides the fact she has the best name ever, why is she important? Why do they keep bringing her up? Is she Charlotte's mom? Is Ben somehow the dad? Does he not know he is her dad? Is Annie Charlotte's mom and someone else is the dad? WHY IS SHE IMPORTANT?

- Are Eloise and Widmore in cahoots? And they had a baby together but clearly are no longer involved romantically or even friendly to one another. And he had Penny with some off-island chick. What's the deal with those two?

-What happened to baby Ji-Yeon? The poor kid gets abandoned by her mother and she's like three years old. Is she going to end up on the island? Is she special since she was conceived on the island and survived being born?

- Why does Daniel have a different last name than both his father and mother? Just a plot device? Ughhh.

- Why was Libby in the mental institution? Just because she was sad her husband died? Please. I need a real reason.

Special or Delusional:

-Walt. Why is he special? He killed all those birds (with his mind... when he got angry). He came back as a ghost-thing. Did they really just get rid of him cause he went through puberty and grew a few inches? Poor kid is acting in pizza roll commercials. Come on, throw the kid a bone in the last season.

- Why is Desmond special? He could see the future. He didn't get hit by the pendulum in the Lamppost station even though he was waltzing around not looking where it was going. He bounces around in time and in his mind. He didn't die when Ben shot him at close range... WHY IS HE SPECIAL (aside from his awesome accent and ruggedly handsome good looks)?!

-Is Locke special? Or was he just a carrying vessel for the Anti-Jacob? He has almost died like thirty times-- falls out of building, got shot several times, car crash, plane crash-- yet he continues to live. But he is the one who told Richard he was special. So is Richard only asking questions because he was told to do so and that in turn made Locke think he was special. So was he never really special at all?

Oceanic Flight 815:

- What happened to the kids from the tail section that got abducted by the Others in earlier seasons?

- What about Cindy the flight attendant? Was she an Other planted on the plane?

Farfetched Theories:

-This whole going back in time deal, what if just their brains went back in time? And whatever they thought/wanted/believed they were seeing they did?

-Another thing on Claire, let's just say this little bomb explosion thing works and they land safely at LAX. Maybe she gives him up for adoption and Kate adopts Baby Aaron. Just a little theory I came up with and I'm writing down in the event it is right.

-Baby Charlie: What if he somehow, since time pretty much means nothing now, grows up to be Charlie Pace? And what if Penny and Desmond die (God forbid) and he is adopted that's why he doesn't remember them as being his parents? Or maybe the creepy nurse that watches him while Penny is in the hospital room with Des is evil and kidnaps him. I just think it's strange they named him Charlie, okay?

Season Five Finale:

- Was Juliet pregnant at the end? She put her hand on her stomach and Bernard asked if she wanted tea. If she blew up everything maybe SHE is the reason people on the island can't have kids now and that's why she could never save the pregnant women.

- Sayid, Hurley, Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Locke, Jin and Sun were ALL physically touched by Jacob at some point in their lives. Does that mean something? Oh and Sayid and Hurley were the only two touched AFTER returning from the island. Significant? When Jacob goes to see Ilana, he's wearing gloves? Does that mean she's not special?

- Is Juliet alive after destroying the bomb?

- No one had ever seen Jacob... except all of our 06 plus Jin, Sawyer, and Locke. Of course they didn't realize it at the time, but why is he popping up in the real world but not to his own "people"?

- The guy in black in the S5 finale, the anti-Jacob? Who is he? The devil? Is he bad? Do we just assume Jacob is good? Maybe this guy is good? Why does he want to kill Jacob so badly? WHO IS HE?!

- Jacob says he isn't dead and apparently dies at the end. Thanks producers for talking about this guy for like four seasons and killing him the episode we meet him. I know he is coming back somehow but COME ON! Give me something!

- WHO IS COMING? Why did Jacob say that? The losties are coming back to the present? The third party containing Lapidus, Bram and Ilana and Locke's dead body are coming? WHO?!?

-The white screen at the end of season five instead of the usual black: WTF? A change in power, a change in time, a change of events... I NEED TO KNOW!!!!

Probably means nothing but I am writing it down anyway:

- What is with all the purple and blue these people wore in season 5?!?! Rewatching it all at once, I mean Richard has like 42 purple long sleeve button ups. He was a metrosexual even in the 1970s! But seriously, was there a sale on purple clothes in Hawaii or something. I know the color is associated with royalty but is there any other significance? Richard, Eloise, Kate, Sun, Juliet, dead-Locke, Sayid, a lot of the others under dead-Locke's lead are ALL wearing purple. And Ben, Jack, Richard again wear a lot of blue striped shirts. I mean vary it up a little bit.

Like I said, I watched about eight episodes in a little more than 24 hours. I am ready for this season. But after almost crying about eighteen times and actually crying several more times (Why did they have to kill Daniel? He was the best one! Why did I hate Juliet for three seasons only to pray she wouldn't be sucked down into the abyss?) I just don't know if I am going to be emotionally prepared for this season. Seriously, I was depressed when Daniel died and I barely knew him. I hated Juliet and I was sobbing when she died. WHAT IF THEY KILL JACK? Or Desmond? Or Sawyer? Or god forbid, Hurley, the heart of the show? I take it back, I understand why Libby checked into a mental institution for grief cause that might be happening if they kill any of the characters I love which is pretty much all of them.

Okay, Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof: BRING IT.

ETA: By now I've watched the premiere and maybe you noticed this post went through some changes. I changed nothing aside for organizing it into sections and highlighting key words and fixing typos (Okay fine, I added in the note about Ji-Yeon. But she wasn't mentioned in the premiere so it doesn't matter!). Several things I wrote were mentioned/highlighted/touched on in the premiere... guess it was just my destiny to write about them prior to the premiere. :)

"And I don't even know his last name/ My mama would be so ashamed"

Okay last post tonight, I swear. I am having name issues.

1) I need a boy's name. I think I have one in mind but if any lurkers want to throw their name into the ring, go for it. Or if anyone (hi mom and LA) have any suggestions or favorites, please add those in as well. :)

2) I am trying to come up with a middle name for the main girl. I want it to be a one syllable feminine girl's name. The name I ultimately had decided on was ___ Rose. But then I googled it and saw that it is the name of a town. I know that's stupid but I am a little if-y about it now. The other name I have in mind is Anne. But my name is Annie. Is that biased? Oh and my sister's middle name is Anne and that's favoritism so I guess that one is out. There are two other possibilities: Lynn or Clare. But I'm not 100 percent for either of those. So I should I have that much of a hang up about the name being a town in a random state?

I care too much, I know. But I'm picky. So... HELP!

"But honestly .... tonight I thank the stars ... for everything you've given me"

A breakthrough! I think I figured out why I use the word "just" so much. I use it in place of the word "but". For example: "It was just that we had gone so long without speaking that..." has now become "But we had gone so long without speaking that...". I know this seems minor and insignificant and probably even obvious to you but I cannot tell you how many times I have used the word just. Seriously at least two times on each page. It's like a sickness. So this little realization will be helpful in the parts where I can't simply delete the "just".

Seriously, I need to become nocturnal. I think so much more clearly at night. I would say half of my ideas have been right as I am falling asleep. And then I have to either 1) Repeat it to myself three times in a weak attempt to remember it in the morning, 2) Get out of bed and write it down in my idea book, or 3) Make a note in my iPhone (this one is the most common).

Back to editing chapter 24!

"These are my confessions/ I just wanna live when I'm alive"

So I'm hitting the point in the book where I KNOW what is going on. Shouldn't I always know what is going on, you ask? Yes, yes I should. But I don't. Pretty much making it up as I go along. But this part right now, this is part that I've known for a long, long time. Maybe not so much when I initially came up with the book but rather at some point in college when the book "grew up". Yep. So that means I spent over four hours at Starbucks today writing. I was rather unaware of how much time passed and my only indication was my growling stomach since I hadn't eaten since breakfast and it was almost five. But since I was there for several hours, I got a few items for an Observations/Thoughts list. It's been a while since we've had one of those. So here we go!

-This guy has been sitting next to me in the other comfy chair studying for a while. Well actually he was sitting at a table and then moved to the comfy chair. I think he is going to regret his decision to switch seats because instead of studying he has been sleeping for the past thirty minutes. Not exactly the best advertising for Starbucks, buddy.

-There have been several people today chatting on their bluetooths (blueteeth?). It's been years since they have been introduced and I still think people look ridiculous talking on one. You look sort of insane to anyone who can't see the other side of your head.

-Also, it is one of my number one pet peeves when people have long conversations on their phone in places like Starbucks. Or more so people who come to the establishment to do business on the phone. It's just obnoxious and I don't get why people do it. It's not like they are quiet places: espresso machines + groups of people chatting + loud XM radio overhead = You talking extra loud and me getting extra annoyed.

-So there is this man I have seen here twice and I keep debating if I know him. When I was standing in line for the bathroom during a Georgia tailgate this past football season, I struck up a conversation with the man in front of me since we stood there for twenty minutes. We got onto the topic of me finding a job and he asked what I was interested in and I told him. He actually suggested two places in Atlanta for me and told me one of his friends was the CEO at the company. He told me to tell him Mr. G sent him. Well, I don't one hundred percent remember what Mr. G looked like, so I don't want to strike up a conversation with him. But every time I see him, I sit and debate about whether or not to try and say Mr. G sort of loudly and see if he responds. Maybe next time.

-It's a super slow day today in Starbucks. It's like no one is here and not many people coming in and out. Strange cause you'd think colder days would send people in search of a warm delicious drink and yummy treat. But maybe no one wants to brace the cold to get inside. Even the drive-thru looked like it was lacking.

-I haven't sen Mike-Or-James (I know I confirmed it's Michael but he will always be MoJ to me) for like two months. I think since Thanksgiving even. This makes me sad. It's pretty much the B crew today, and I'm not impressed.

-Okay, this girl has been on the phone, I'm not exaggerating for ten minutes giving her friend directions. "What street are you on?" "What are you near?" "Wait which direction are you coming from?" "You see the Publix? No, it's not IN the Publix shopping center, it's across the street." Seriously? Not to mention, the girl never repeated the name of a street on the phone so the girl receiving directions must have no idea what road she is on.
-I'm hungry and I want to go home but I am going to stick around just to see how stupid this girl looks in real life.
-She has arrived. And I'm not kidding I started smelling some vodka when she walked in. Now it's all making sense
-She is rocking the brown and black color combination. This is supposedly no longer a sin in the fashion world, but I'm not buying it. So I'm judging her.
-She and the girl she met up with are now signing to each other randomly. This makes me think they are talking about other people here. I hope I'm not one of them. But then again, they made this blog post so who am I to talk?

-Okay, this is cheating cause it didn't happen today but two other SB stories:
-Right before Christmas I am pretty sure I witnessed a couple having an affair. This man came in and sat down and was acting all jittery and his eyes were darting around. And then this girl walked in and he stood up to greet her. There was this weird hesitation between the two of them and I thought "Oh gosh, they are going through a break up or a divorce and are meeting up for the first time or something." They just sent out a weird vibe.

-Then I noticed the girl was wearing some skanky boots. And so they have their weird pause and then all of the sudden it is make out central in the middle of the store. I mean he pressing himself up against her, grabbing her head, it is awkward. Like I caught the eye of the guy next to me and we both were like "get a room". There was lipstick all over the guy's mouth afterwards.

-So then they sit down and start talking. I'm nosy and intrigued so I turned down the volume of my iPod. I had also since noticed the man had on a ring, she did not. And he asked how someone was doing and she answered and he said something like "Wow, I haven't seen her in forever!" making it seem like this wasn't some married couple that had been apart for the weekend or something.

-So they sit and chat for a few minutes and then bolted out of Starbucks, hand in hand. I wanted to yell out "I'm judging you" as they left but I resisted. This was also in the wake of the Tiger Woods drama and the 13 girls coming forward so I also wanted to yell out "Tiger got caught, you can too". Honestly, I don't think infidelity is a joke. It was just such a bizarre thing to witness.

-On a lighter note, my sister has been living in Seattle for the past year and half and she said how different the cultural aspects/manners are there. She said for the first time ever, a man got up and held open the door for her while she was leaving with her bulky stroller. Totally different than the south. And it was funny she said that cause that very day I had three friendly interactions with several nice southern gentlemen:
1. A man had just sat down in the chair I was headed for. I asked him if he would mind if I scooted in behind him and plugged in my laptop. He then offered to just switch seats. This is the third time this has happened. Yeah, accommodating Southerners!
2. I caught the eye of another man who sat down in the empty seat next to me. He asked "How are you doing today young lady?" as he sat down. I replied, "Good. How are you?" but I had my iPod on and he said something along the lines of "Oh just trying to survive. But I think I'll manage." So I said "I sure hope so." I slightly fear that isn't what he said at all and therefore what I said made no sense and he thinks I'm rude for not taking off my iPod but nothing I can do about it now!
3. A couple got up from the big table and I decided to call it quits. Two guys decided to move to the larger table since it has more space just as I started packing up my stuff. One of the guys turned to me and asked if I was planning on moving to the table and he started to sit back down. He sounded very concerned. I said no and that I was on my way out and they could have it. He was going to give up the table for me! Aw! Southerners FTW!

-Also, I can't listen to Glee in public. I mouth the words, I dance around in my seat, I get taken over by the music. People probably think I'm insane. (See post's title. The best mash-up)

Aaaaaand that's all folks!