"And I never dreamed that I'd spend my days/ Staring at some tube emitting cathode rays/ I need my TV"

Where there's a will, there's a way.

I babysit for an adorable two year old boy (even if he does tell me I am "too big" to sit on his full size big boy bed to read him a story) most Tuesday nights. Only problem: Lost comes on at the same time or at the very least I miss the first twenty minutes and we all know when it comes to Lost that is like missing 45 minutes of crucial information in a normal television show. I know, I know what you're thinking: It's the 21st century, get TiVo. Au contraire: We have a TiVo but unfortunately it is one of the first editions or whatever so it only records one show at a time. An additional problem is that it's technically my sister AE's so she gets to call the shots about what it records. So she picks American Idol. Yeah cause there is a show you have to pay attention to every minute and has a fan base with thousands of sites and blogs dedicated to it to dissect each detail as it is premiering live. But she wins so that means I wait to watch it online several hours/days later (I know wah wah, rich person problems. But I'm addicted to this show okay!? I need to know!) I will not stand for it.

So to remedy this problem as AI continues to be two hours each week with only about 30 minutes of actual performances and 90 minutes of filler and commercials, I spent an hour today trying to figure out how to record on a VCR (sans any type of manual). I know, I'm so old school. I didn't have any luck with one television, the other is connected to the Tivo, one lacks a VHS player, so that left one final option. And I somehow figured out that a cable was missing, managed to track it down and connect the cable box and the VCR and ta da! I am going to be able to watch LOST and American Idol tomorrow. I am so proud of myself. I mean I can be technically savvy in some situations but situations where common sense prevails or when there is a handy step-by-step manual with illustrations and toll-free help lines if I get really confused. So it's a miracle I tell you! Orrrr it was my destiny to figure it all out (Team Man of Faith)!

"Oh oh I want some more/ Oh oh what are you waiting for"

Oh heeeeeey Panera. I almost forgot what you looked like on the inside. Yep, since SO is done, it's back to trying to find a job. I've gotten to the point where I am just sending a resume to any company where I feel like I am "somewhat" qualified. I mean I have no experience, I have no skills, gotta do what you gotta do. And also, let's do an Observations/Thoughts since it's been awhile! Here we go (Fun fact: I always say this in Natalie Portman's southern drawl from Where the Heart Is. Bonus points if you know from which scene)!

-The best part was a job posting yesterday where you had to call a number and listen to a five minutes message from the president which basically said "I'm awesome and started this company when I was 18 and now I'm even more awesome. I believe you get what you put out so if you're not awesome, don't work here cause we only accept awesomeness." Frankly, the guy sounded like a d-bag but if I worked with him and he liked me, I'd probably like him. Yep, I'm shallow and wishy-washy with my opinions. So I spent all this time crafting a cover letter and hitting the points he mentioned in the message about his expected criteria. And so I finally hit send and I immediately get a message back. Oookay. "Due to the large volume of interest in this position, we are conducting group interviews Wednesday MARCH 24th" aka: the day BEFORE I sent the email. Awesome. You'd think Mr. Awesome would have thought to change the message or something. Oh well, he sounded like a d-bag anyway.

-So I searched for copy editor just now and "What?! A copy editor is needed in Atlanta. ONLY FIVE MILES FROM MY HOUSE?! I can totally do this. It for an outdoor magazine. I mean, I can try to fake that. I mean I ran on the IM fields occasionally in college. I sit outside and watch my nieces play. Sometimes. * continues reading * Oh I must be an expert in fishing and hunting. Yep, can't fake that. Moving on."

-And then, there was a position for a proofreader. My thought process: "Oh I totally correct people's grammar all the time (at least in my head). This was made for me! * continues reading* Must have a great understanding of html coding, and other technical talk that I can't even remember and repeat for the sake of this blog post." Soooo... no.

-All this "upload your resume and we will grab information and inset it into the application" technology doesn't work. I'd rather it be blank since I just have to go back through and correct everything.

-I have also really discovered I use Twitter to complain. I went to the post office earlier today: Someone in line did not smell good. As I was assessing the people in line, the untidiest looking man who I believe to be the culprit made eye contact and looked me up and down. Ew.

-Then I went shopping and got locked in the dressing room. And apparently the door locks/ gets stuck a lot because the employees were like "Oh it locked. AGAIN. Guess you are sleeping in the store tonight. hahahaha" They didn't tell me they were doing anything to remedy the situation and I was pulling on the door so hard the frame was popping out of the ground. Finally I got let out. I also complained about this incident on twitter.

-Since the weather has been nicer, I am inclined to drive with my window down. There has been construction all along the road lining my neighborhood since I would say June if not before. And these construction workers apparently feel obligated to live up to the stereotype of whistling, cat-calling, etc at young girls driving by with their windows open. I do NOT enjoy this. And therefore, complained about it on Twitter.

-Panera is crawling with high school students and it's only 2:30. Must have been a half day. Oh to be so young and naive. And think you are way cooler than you are. But hey, I used to be one of those so what can you do? But now I'm an unemployed college grad so I AM cooler than you.

-Chocolate chip bagel was DELICIOUS.

-I HATE these salary questions. I am a recent college graduate. I only worked summer jobs before so I feel stupid typing in "well I only made this much an hour". Then it's like how much do you expect to make? Dude, I don't care! I just need to support myself. But I don't want to sound greedy but then I don't want to lowball it. Annoying. So I just pick the lowest option and hope I sound humble and that I won't be taken advantage of.

-I enjoy so much when these sites give a progress bar. This current one does not. Boo.

-I do not enjoy when these sites send you a million emails when you submit a resume, submit a cover letter, submit your application. Just compile it all into one so my poor little inbox doesn't almost explode.

-This will mean nothing to any of you besides former roommate AW (and I don't even think she reads this). AW is sometimes confused and sometimes cheers for Florida basketball (when Georgia isn't playing) cause she used to be a FL fan before she reformed her ways and saw the light. So there was this guy, I wanna say his name was John, who made fun of her cheering for FL, we saw this guy ALL the time so we started calling him Florida Fan, even to his face (hence why I am unsure of his actual name) even though he did not cheer for Florida. So this was years ago but we would still see him every now and then in the last months of college. So then I thought I saw him at the Starbucks I frequent once I moved to Atlanta. Several times. If nothing else, it's his look-a-like. And now I'm at Panera and not even the one really close to the Starbucks and he's here! I wonder if he recognizes me. That was a lot of background for a very worthless story.

-Ultimate coincidence: he is sitting with a man wearing a Florida Gators hat and shirt. So you know, I automatically don't like him.

-But (possibly fake) Florida Fan brings me to this thought: I always just want to ask the professional people sitting around me if they are hiring anyone. I mean that's how Heidi got her job at Bolthouse; she met him in a bar (there's a little Hills trivia for you). I'm look respectable and job searching in Panera on a Friday afternoon. I'm a good person! Hire me! It could happen!

-Why does this $300/day for being an extra pop up in EVERY SINGLE job search. And not just once but like fifteen times. I don't want to do that. Why isn't this on a talent/ modeling/ acting site? Although they do film The Vampire Diaries in Atlanta.... maybe it's for them! Maybe I should look into this. Oh Ian Somerhalder. I just googled his name to make sure I spelled it right (I'm all about the quality) and I think it's so funny how "Ian Somerhalder girlfriend" is the second most popular search as it always is with all these boys. Because tons of celebs date and marry girls who googled them on the internet. If only....

-OneRepublic's sophomore album "Waking Up" is FANTASTIC. Oh UnoRepublic. I love you. Never go away.

-I also am listening to several songs from American Idol (that's right. I watch it. I'm not (that) embarrassed) thanks to a handy video2mp3 converting site. My favorites you ask? Casey James and Lee Dewyze. I can get on board with Siobhan and Crystal and Big Mike. I have the most Casey songs but I always enjoy Lee. There's my opinion. I know you were dying to know.

-Some of these requirements are ridiculous. "Must have 10 years previous experience" "Must be able to lift 20 pounds".... to be an administrative assistant? Seriously? No wonder this job posting is still around.

-Oh yeah, months later and I STILL can't log into Monster. I finally made a new account using my UGAmail address.

- It was dumb of me to put my "Job Search" tab RIGHT next to my "LOST" tab. I always start to click the LOST and have to move over. Even subconsciously, I just want to read what other people said about the Richard episode and all the little things that I missed. So tempting. Must. Fight. Urge.

-The couple next to me are talking very animatedly-- lots of waving arms and hunching over to emphasize a point and gesturing. It's very distracting.

-The man got up and he is wearing very bright blue pants. Prompting me to look at how bright his pants are. And it may have looked like I was checking out his booty. But seriously, they were freakishly neon.

-I truly love the iTunes Free Single of the Week. It's how I found out about Owl City's Fireflies, Lady Antebellum's Love Don't Live Here Anymore, and Asher Roth's I Love College. Unfortunately they have been sucking lately. Then they gave us a good one with Neon Trees' Animal and now it's back to sucking. Too bad. Here's to crossing fingers for next Tuesday!

-I have seen several girls with purple purses today. So brilliant. Goes with so many colors. I am jealous.

-I really love epic music. Like songs that are used in the trailers for movies like Lord of the Rings and, hate to say it, New Moon. And The Lovely Bones trailer had some epic music I was able to track down thanks to sites dedicated to figuring stuff like this out. I am currently listening to it and I sort of want to go partake in battle or beat someone up or something. Well not really but sorta.

-The worker keeps cleaning the tables around me, but my table was empty when I got here and it is very sticky. Maybe it was before his shift started.

-A job posting I think I could do is taking FOREVER to load. Oh what to do, what to do?

-Oh no. After refreshing and reloading the page is blank. Figures.

Alright, I'm cold. It's four and I tried. Time to call it quits.

"All my dreams are built around your face/ And this place/ All the times of staring at the sun/ You're the one"

Years ago, I used an index card as a bookmark and I would write down the page numbers where quotes that jumped out and caught my attention. Making me say "That's SO true" and reread it. Well, I leant a book to my sister AE which was housing the bookmark and she threw it away (thanks a lot). So I started keeping little scraps of paper with these quotes on them so I could remember them (and use them on my Facebook favorite quotes section). But that got to be a messy and I was starting to find good quotes in songs, movies, even Starbucks cups so I got a little journal from Target one day and started writing them down. I highly suggest this if you too are someone who likes the little golden nuggets of wisdom, or just the plain, sometimes heart-wrenching, truth. Here are a couple I've jotted down over the years:

"I've learned that things change, people change, and it doesn't mean you forget the past or try to cover it up... it simply means you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn't mean giving up... it means accepting that some things weren't meant to be." -Unknown

"At the end of the day, when it all comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of crap. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you, at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes that invasion of personal space can be exactly what you need." -Grey's Anatomy

"What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts." -The Last Kiss

"No it won't all go the way it should/ But I know the heart of life is good." -John Mayer

"But there are some things that, no matter how much we worry about them, we just have to face them, and most of the time they turn out not to be nearly as bad as we thought they would be. And sometimes they turn out to be wonderful." -The Accidental Mother

"It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In LA, nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we just crash into each other, just so we can feel something." -Crash

"Sometimes you just have to say exactly what you feel. In certain situations, you can't worry about how people react. You just have to be as honest as you can and let what happens afterward happen." -Love Walked In

"I wanted my stars clean and steady and spelling out a happy ending straight across the sky." -Love Walked In

"Picked all my weeds/ But kept the flowers" -Kelly Clarkson

"What was my worst first date? Uh, it was a couple of years ago, it was a lunch date actually. It was right down the street and we had just met and we really hit it off. It was kind of nice . And, um, and then as it turned out, it wasn't even a date because she was in love with someone else." -Jim Halpert

"The most important thing in your life is your family. There are days you love them and others you don't. But, in the end, they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself." -Sex & the City

"It's time for you to prove/ Within your ruby shoes/ You deserve a smile with no regret/ Look at you/ Kicking off your shoes/ Dancing for the world to see" -Erin McCarley

"She just didn't know what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. She believed there had to be something special out there for her, a path that was hers alone and held happiness at its end, but where was the start of it?" -Firefly Lane

So yeah, I tend to like the sappy, lovesick quotes. Whoops. And it makes me sad cause I haven't found a good new book quote in FOREVER (seriously like since before Christmas). Here's to hoping I do sometime soon (and heyyyyy maybe if the book ever gets published, someone will write one of mine in theirs! OH! New ultimate goal!)

"And sometimes you close your eyes/ And see the place where you used to live/ When you were young"

Today I did something I've never done before: I got my very own library card! Yep and I'm 22. And an aspiring author. Buuuuut, I just always used my mom's card when I was little (and trust me, we caravanned it over to the library once a week and I would beg my mom for more books each time) and then I guess when I had money, I just purchased my own books as opposed to borrowing them.

The main reason I got one is because I no long have money to spend frivolously and I still really want to read Jackson's book As You Wish. However the library won't let you search the catalog unless you have a card so I gave in. I went to the library today and searched through the YA section for Jackson's book (it wasn't there. super bummed) and a couple others. But as I was searching the stacks, I saw SO many titles that I loved when I was younger. It was so nostalgic. Chocolate Fever, Walk Two Moons, Manic Magee, The Phantom Tollbooth, the Amber Brown (Is Not a Crayon) series, The Witch of Blackbird Pond, Ella Enchanted, and SO many others. Could I tell you the plot of ANY of these? Nope. But my memory was jogged when I saw the familiar titles and fonts and book covers. Sure they were nestled between the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series, the Princess Diaries books, Harry Potter, and Twilight but at least they are still hanging around.

Oh and the series that I absolutely LOVED were the Wayside School books. The kids at my school were also OBSESSED. Like you knew which kid had checked them out, so you would follow them to the library on the day they had to return it so you could harass the librarian once they dropped it in the box so you could be the next owner. Well that or we would all race to the section where they were (a top shelf towards the back of the library. STILL can picture it) if no one in our class had been the lucky recipient. That's how obsessed we were. But it's funny cause no one else I've talked to remembers these books. Come on people! The school that was supposed to be 30 classrooms on one floor but instead it is 30 floors with one classroom on each (minus the 19th floor... it doesn't exist), with the teacher that turned students into apples by wiggling her tongue and ears, the friendly gym teacher named Louis, the three Erics, the girl with the cutest missing front teeth but they are actually there, the girl with the long braid that the boy grabs onto when he falls out of the window, the boy who always gets in trouble for the smallest things and has to ride home with the kindergarteners, and so many other stories. I actually found two of the books at a used bookstore and snatched those up. I can't wait for niece SD to want to read them since I'm sure she will LOVE them.

Oh childhood, how I miss those simpler times. Sigh.

"Talk is cheap/ Give me a word you can keep/ Cause I'm halfway gone and I'm on my way"

Jodi, Jodi, Jodi. *slowly shakes head from side to side* What happened? You used to be so good. And the last three books you've cranked out have been... well... disappointing. And that's me being generous with my adjectives (and very much aware of the fact you've sold about a bazillion more books that I have and probably ever will). I just finished reading House Rules, the latest from Picoult, late last night. It was one of those Stay-Up-Until-Five AM- Cause- I- Have- To- Know books but not in the usual Picoult sense. It was more so, let me finish this thing because I figured out "the twist" about 20 pages after the action started and was praying it wasn't going to be so simple and frankly, obvious.

Here's the plot summary for House Rules courtesy of GoodReads and honestly if you plan on reading the book, I wouldn't read the summary. You have to trudge through about 100 pages for the action to start since it is given away in blurb. If the blurb was a little more discrete or heck even more misleading, this could have been A LOT better. We know Picoult's gameplan: Current controversial issue, different POVs of family members and how they view each other and and consequently interact, a trial and then a big fat twist usual in the last fifteen pages if not fifteen sentences of the book. Anyway, here is the blurb: "HOUSE RULES is about Jacob Hunt, a teenage boy with Asperger’s Syndrome. He’s hopeless at reading social cues or expressing himself well to others, and like many kids with AS, Jacob has a special focus on one subject – in his case, forensic analysis. He’s always showing up at crime scenes, thanks to the police scanner he keeps in his room, and telling the cops what they need to do…and he’s usually right. But then one day his tutor is found dead, and the police come to question him. All of the hallmark behaviors of Asperger’s – not looking someone in the eye, stimulatory tics and twitches, inappropriate affect – can look a heck of a lot like guilt to law enforcement personnel -- and suddenly, Jacob finds himself accused of murder. HOUSE RULES looks at what it means to be different in our society, how autism affects a family, and how our legal system works well for people who communicate a certain way – but lousy for those who don’t."

You can't deny that she does extensive research about legal proceedings and this novel's hot topic Asperger's Syndrome (AS). But at the same time, she doesn't need to share every single note she took on the subject with her reader. It almost gets to the point that she beats you over the head with it. I GET IT. Jacob doesn't understand idioms. He physically can't make eye contact. He is only looking out for himself but not out of selfishness but rather that's the way his brain works. I GET IT. And usually the trial is my favorite part but this one just did not do it for me. Maybe it's because the lawyer, Oliver, is such a newbie and I don't see how he got such experts to testify on a supposedly "uncharted topic of AS" (please, Nicky Sparks beat ya to that one, Jodi), I don't know. All I know is that part fell flat for me.

At least Picoult broke from her usual mold of creating a mother you just hate and dread where you get to the chapters from her POV. Emma wasn't too terrible. You didn't hate her like you did the mother in Handle with Care or The Pact. She wasn't great but at least you pretty much understood where she was coming from. I didn't understand why she included the POV of the police detective since he pretty much drops off the map for the second half of the book. Theo's POV was the most interesting and compelling in my opinion and wish she would have included more from him.

I think my main compliant with this book is you just saw the big twist coming from a mile away, well actually make that 400 pages away. I thought, surely this isn't the usual Picoult "Smack you in the gut and turn you on your head" twist but, it was. Sigh. And then she doesn't even give you a resolved ending. She drops the supposed "bomb" on you in the last five or ten pages and then... nothing. So... what happened? I sure don't know and I'm not even sure Picoult does herself hence her overly ambiguous ending. It's not even ambiguous in the "You can decide what happened way" it just... ends.

Oh and I know this is nit-picking but seriously it's Jodi freaking Picoult. Maybe she is such a hot commodity that they are just cranking out a book a year and doing it as fast as they can so they can cash in on her. But seriously that is why copy editors exist, to catch the mistakes of the author who is simultaneously researching, writing, and editing and therefore very much distracted. On one page she says Jacob can't stand long, flowing hair so he keeps his "military short". But several other times the mom talks about his hair falling in his eyes and smoothing his hair away from his face. Gee, that's not contradicting. And then another time she talks about a grandmother making something for her grandson but later she says the mother made that very item for her son instead. Come on! It's a major plot point hence my discreteness, you can't have that kind of sloppy writing and editing.

The book was interesting, sure, but unfortunately this time around, it wasn't a page turner because I just had to know what was going to happen next but rather I was just hoping Jodi was going to prove me wrong and throw me a curve ball. Maybe she just set the bar WAY too high for herself with works like My Sister's Keeper and The Pact but she has really got to do something to keep all of her faithful readers around for the next one.

Now I understand why Jodi does what she does. I complain about her being predictable and I don't know if it is just because I know to look for clues and how she has written in her previous 15+ novels. I mean every author drops the reader some bread crumbs along the way so they feel like they have your trust and they are partaking as opposed to merely being an observer. But you don't have to give me exhibit A and B and C and so on, all the way to Z all the while repeating A and B and C throughout the novel. Give me a little of A and then maybe a little N and then maybe X, almost to the end but not quite. I guess there is one particular point in Square One that I overly explain. Just because the character can't connect the dots on their own but that doesn't mean your intelligent reader doesn't. In fact that is number one on the list of changes for SO: I gotta take out some examples so it doesn't seem like I'm hitting you over the head with it. Sure, I want you to realize it and have an "a-ha!" moment but maybe once I actually reveal it to you as opposed to when it actually happens in the narrative. Does that make sense? Sure hope so.

Now I'm not giving up on Jodi just yet and I still admire a lot about her writing style and she definitely knows who she is as an author. But if I figure out the twist in the first 100 pages of the next one (yet again, I did this with Change of Heart as well. But that was seriously in the first 10 pages), I just might not be dancing with excitement about her new releases anymore. Come on Jodi! Prove me wrong! You can do it (said in Bella's Karolyi's voice)!