"Hate is a strong word/ But I really, really, really don't like you"

Four "celebrities" I wish I could lock up in a box and never hear/read anything about them ever again.

4. Speidi. Totally not buying this "divorce" business. Lame attempt at publicity I say. Who walks out of a courtroom with legal documents in plain sight? Fame whores, that's who.

3. Lindsay Lohan. She's in rehab, she's out, she's in rehab, she's dating a girl, they broke up, she has a SCRAM bracelet, it went off, no it didn't, I DON'T CARE. She had what, like, one good movie? And that can mostly be accredited to Tina Fey's script or Rachel McAdams and Amanda Seyfried's acting. Let's see who has the better resume at this point? Hint: Not Lindsay.

2. Miley Cyrus. Seriously. You've 17. Stop acting like a complete skank. Is she even "acting" anymore or is it just for real? I'm think it's the latter. And her parents should be ashamed instead of checking their bank account.

1. Kate Gosselin. Hope all the millions she is making now will go towards her kids' therapy bills later on in life. You know, provided she doesn't blow it all on boob jobs, fake tans, hair extensions, and mani/pedis.

Feel free to create your own list in the comments section!

"I get knocked down but I get up again/ You never gonna keep me down"

Work is going really well! My class is getting heaps of praise from my boss and their parents (like a parent took a picture of the note I wrote to one of my kids and put it on Twitter. Twice. No big deal)! Except yesterday morning when I told them this and gave them all a sticker, they apparently thought that meant they didn't have to behave anymore. Don't worry I got them back on track.

I had a hilarious thing happen yesterday. Honestly it's not even that funny when I tell it verbally so I'm sure all hilarity will be lost in writing. But since I don't record anything in journal-form anymore and I want to remember this it will just have to do:

We were on the playground and apparently a spider's babies hatched everywhere over the weekend because the kids have been finding them nonstop. And they feel the need to tell me and the other teacher every single time by pointing, staring, and yelling. So there was a web on the fence and after the thirtieth time a child told me about it, I tried to distract J and T by asking them to run over and show me how they can climb the little rock wall and wave to me from the top. The two boys took off in a dead sprint and of course they collided at the bottom of the wall in attempts to be the first one there. Little J was face down on the ground not moving (but he has a tendency to do this especially when he is upset and doesn't want the other kids to notice) so I called to him and asked if he was okay. I got no response and little C sitting next me said in a completely flat and serious tone, "He's dead." I know it doesn't sound that funny but I couldn't even move I was trying so hard not to burst into laughter. I could totally see the tone she used being said in a Pixar movie (kind of like this). And yes I did eventually compose myself, get up and check on J and he was completely fine and at the top of the wall in no time.

But I even watched a movie last night where a male character died in a pretty dramatic way and I just thought "He's dead" in C's little voice and I started cracking up. Oh kids, they're so funny and cute.

"Can we pretend that airplanes in night sky are like shooting stars/ I could really use a wish right now"

So I sort of abandoned this blog for a while there. Whoops. But I have a good excuse I swear! I got a job! As of right now it's just for the summer but hey, it's something! About a month ago, I pretty much got to the point where I had NO idea what I was going to try for next due to a lot of rejection and doors shutting. And then my boss from the summer job I had during college friend-ed me on Facebook. I thought Hmmmm... maybe I could ask her if they have any openings left for this summer so I took a chance and asked and she did! Hooray! So I am now the lead teacher of the three year olds class in a Weekday child care program (I essentially got promoted after not working there for three years. Boom). I'll include a few stories about work here and there but the employer and kids' names are staying anonymous. I'm not getting fired!

Today was a good day at work. I thought it was going to start off rough since several of the kids were extra clingy to their parents when being dropped off this morning (must of had a case of the Mondays). Little J especially had a hard time. So about an hour later during circle time, I had two books resting beside me. J excitedly said "I've never read those books before!" Then I said "Great, so they will be brand new and you won't know what's going to happen!" And J exclaimed "I'm so happy". Given his mood earlier in the day I asked him why and he said "Well I've never see these books before" and then he pointed at our Referee's Rules chart (Keep your hands to yourself, obey the first time, and so forth) and our sticker chart where once the kids get eight stickers for sharing, cleaning up, obeying, etc. they get to go to the dun dun dun daaaaa Totally Terrific Treasure Chest and said "And I've never seen these signs before". I don't know why he was so excited about the charts but I'll take it cause they are super cute (thanks mom for decorating them!). And the cherry on top, he said "And I love you" to me. Completely unprompted! Awwww. I wanted to give him twenty stickers but I fought the urge. I don't want to buy the kids' love (even though I clearly don't have to. Zing!).

Towards the end of the day I was reading a book about tadpoles and frogs to two of the kids. The little girl was saying how she had something at her house (maybe a pond or a lake, not sure) and she asked if I wanted to come over and see it. Now, maybe you don't know three year olds but this is one of the highest compliments you can be paid. If they ask you to come over to see them, babysit, or for dinner, you've hit the jackpot. Winner!

I've also gotten a drawing from one of the girls. Her mom also told me when little H was absent two weeks ago (stomach bug. super!) she said she knew that "Miss Annie was going to miss me so much today". And I did, I really did. Plus it worked out that all the girls were out that day so I was left with five boys. That was an interesting dynamic (read: Please God, don't ever let me be the mother of boy quintuplets).

Sometimes you have to come up with little games while you are waiting in line to go somewhere. My class is a big fan of "Simon Says Sitting Down" and "Raise Your Hand If...". I asked them to raise their hand if they were wearing sneakers. All of them were but all save one raised their hand. I asked little T why he didn't raise his hand since he was wearing in fact wearing sneakers. Little T replied, "These aren't sneakers. They're Pumas." Granted he was right but man it starts young doesn't it?

Oh and if you ever want to be entertained, ask a group of three year olds what they did this past weekend. Answers will vary from "I went to the zoo where there were 10 dinosaurs as big as houses!" to "I crashed my mom and dad's cars" (pretty sure both of these were dreams, but I'm not 100% sure).

"One quick look as each of em leaves you ... They take bows and you're batting zero"

This is the second part of my Survivor Recap. First part is here:

Final TC in the TH: Jury time! I love it. Sandra says she's stuck around even though her alliance was decimated. She points out how she tried to get the Heroes to vote out Russell but they never got on board (coughCandicecough). Russell says his game didn't involve luck. Really? So rooting around under random trees in the jungle isn't luck? I see how he could argue it is strategy but please. It was luck. This guy is delusional. Poverty points out she was a threat from day one and she's still here. She calls Russell her pet and says she played a great game. I bet Russell's tongue is bleeding from biting down on it. I wonder if they had to edit out him trying to interrupt. Wouldn't surprise me.

Jury questioning highlights:

-Colby calls Russell out on the no-luck comment. +1 Colby. Poverty points out how she played the two idols for other people at the risk of getting voting out herself. Point to Poverty.

-Coach calls Russell a little man in stature and word. Zing! He says Poverty was a warrior in challenges. He asks no questions. Sit down fool.

-Amanda asks Sandra why her strategy was better. She basically points out how dumb the Heroes were to never vote out Russell when she was willing to jump ship. Pwned.

-Twiggy is voting for Sandra. That's all.

- JT says he made his bed and he's going to lie in it and thinks Russell should do the same. Russell just listens to the "lie" part and keeps yapping about how good of a game he played.

-Danielle says Russ sucks at jury management and no one respects him so he's not going to get any votes. Boom.

-Jerri wants to know why she wasn't taken to the end. Russell says she was too well liked and was going to win. Poverty and Sandra interrupt and say he knew he was going to get Jerri's vote so that's why. And there goes his one potential vote.

- Candice says Russ went too far with the lying. She metaphorically calls Poverty a battered woman. Inapprop.

-Rupert. He's got on his condescending and judgmental voice so this will be good. He says Russell shouldn't be proud of how he played the game. He apologizes to Sandra for not going along with her plan. Poverty finally points out that she had no one to align with but Russell so people need to lay off on the fact she worked with him.

Hmmm... no tears. No snake/rat speech. No charity questions. What an absurd final TC. If I was on Survivor, here is what I would say at Final TC if I was in the final 2/3. Since everyone on that jury is a bitter Betty and Bobby, you should point out that you HAD to vote them out because they were a threat, because they were going to win if they made it to the end. That it doesn't mean you are a better person than them, it just means you played a slightly better strategic game and that's cause their gameplay was forcing you to do that. You gotta stroke their massive egos and say if you could change anything, you wish that feelings wouldn't have gotten hurt or anything taken personally but you understand cause you might feel the same way. Never say "it's just a game" because that sends people into a tizzy.

We see the following votes:

Poverty: Jerri, Danielle, and Coach (where an eagle screech accompanies his statement that "King Arthur's journey has ended". Seriously editors, submit this for your Emmy reel. I'm dying laughing).

Sandra: Candice, Courtney, and Rupert (Sandra was right about how she'll still get his vote).

No amazing trek back the USA by Jeff. Drats. Time to read the votes! We see all of the ones we already saw and then two more for Sandra! She looks so purdy! The first two-time winner: Sandra Diaz-Twine!

I just didn't want Russell to win. I wish Poverty would have since she played a way better strategic and physical game but most juries can't see past their hurt egos. Again, I maintain as I have since last season that Russell is always kept around because everyone knows they can wipe the floor with him at the end. So Russell missed his chance to eliminate his biggest threat numerous times (Sandra) and Sandra's plan repeatedly being foiled by the Heroes ending up rewarding her with the million. Irony!

Reunion show highlights:

- Russell says there is a flaw in the game: America should be able to vote. I believe that show is called "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here". Dear God, please no. Don't let that be Russell's next move.

- Russell has LAMINATED the note from JT and is talking about he made a winner look like the dumbest player ever. JT reaches from behind and tries to throw it in the fire accompanied with a "No!" and flailing by Russell. LEGEND. DARY.

- Jeff says Russell was a delusional, arrogant, mouthy idiot every single day. Gee I wonder who called that last season? Oh yeah ME.

- We get a shot of Sandra's hubby. Thanks for serving our country!

- Russell: Poverty should have won.

Jeff: Again Russell that's a different game. That's called Russell Decides Who Wins Survivor.

I gotta say I don't care for Jeff but he is on fire tonight.

- Russell says he doesn't care about the jury. He keeps saying he only played the game once and doesn't answer Jeff's very direct question. Sandra pipes in (even though her mic is turned off) and says "He doesn't understand".

- Boston Rob points out that Russell plays to make it to the end but he doesn't play to win since he burns too many bridges and insults too many people so he's not gonna get votes.

- "But given the opportunity I will gladly go back and kick your ass all over the island." -Boston Rob. WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN. The only way it would have been better would been if he said "Just as many times as you" when Russell asked how many times he has won. He refuses to shake his hand probably because Russell is the smoke monster.

- JT wins the Dumbest Move ever award.

- Coach kinda humps Colby on national television. Awkward.

- Stephenie is lame and plugs her restaurant on tv when she gets asked her one question. Lame. Jeff rolls his eyes. Awesome.

- "Just one question, not a lot of time .....because you will tell a story," Jeff to Coach. Did Jeff take some awesome pills before this reunion? He is killing it.

- We see Rob and Amber's cute baby, Lucia Rose. Awwwwww. According to Cirie's twitter they are pregs again but I haven't seen that info anywhere else (she also said Colby and Danielle are hooking up).

- Russell wins Sprint Player of the Game probably because he made his four children text vote after vote like a mini sweatshop since honestly fifteen people clap when he wins. And Rupert was his competitor? What about Rob? Poverty? Heck, even Sassy Courtney? America, you disappoint me (but not when it comes to American Idol... Lee FTW!).

- "Russell, damn you" -Danielle. Yup, that sums up this season.

- The Survivor compilation image was the dumbest thing I've ever seen.

I totally called the next season taking place in Nicaragua. Well that or Antarctica. But then they wouldn't have ladies in bikinis and shirtless dudes so can't do that. At least I was right. While I always love the All Star seasons, I'm excited to have some fresh blood and no preformed alliances running the game. Bring it on Burnett!

"All that work and what did it get me?/ Why did I do it?"

Soooo the Survivor finale was almost two weeks ago but I haven't had time to do a three hour recap. If you like the show, you watched and know what happened so I am going to just hit the highlights instead of scene by scene. Plus, even though I've made a very conscious effort to cut these things down in length, I'm still getting complaints (you know who you are) so here's the abbreved version. Enjoy!

This episode is titled "Anything Could Happen". It might as well be labeled as "Anything Could Happen.... Besides Russell Winning". Jeff recaps, you know the drill: Heroes. Villains. Boston Rob. Immunity. Idols. Russell's a douchebag. People make the dumbest moves ever (coughJTcough). Sandra and Poverty are the only two who deserve it at this point. Let's see what happens.

After Rupert's ousting, Russell says Sandra played an idol that was totally worthless. Poverty calls him out as says "You did it too!" Twice. +1 Pov-ster. Russell says that Sandra lied to him about having the HII. Sandra smacks him down saying he never told her about his idols until after he played them. Touche Sandra. But really, it's Russell so logic is pointless with him. He accuses Poverty of lying to him and she calls him a toddler. I think that's being generous. We get the obligatory misleading info where maybe Colby won't be going home but we all know he is. I like the Colpster but really WHAT a disappointment this season. Credits.

Treemail. Clue about the challenge in China with actual china (racist). Russell wants to be in the top 3 with Jerri and Sandra since neither "played the game" and "the jury would almost have to vote for me". I think they would vote for Hitler to win before you.

Challenge: Balancing and stacking dishes with one hand. Shockingly, Sandra is out before Colby for once with nine dishes. Anytime Jeff notes how many there are, you know someone is about to fail. Jerri is out with 14. Then Russell with 16. Who knew stacking dishes could be so suspenseful? Poverty is a challenge beast and wins again. She is really making me start to like her.

Colby says "Hey, I know I'm going, let's just enjoy the day". The we get an awkward interview where there's twenty seconds of silence while he tries not cry and says he isn't giving up and has one last attempt. Colby tries to reason with Russell (already a poor choice) about getting rid of Sandra so he, Jerri, and Russell can all try to beat Poverty and eliminate her the next round (yeah cause you've really dominated challenges this season). Russell says he is considering it and that's just so we don't know who is going home 29 minutes into the episode.

TC in the TH: Colby is out surprising exactly no one. I miss BA Colby. I look forward to seeing you in Schick commercials and a small role in thrillers starring Rachel McAdams.

Talk about needing to get Poverty out. Russell says the jury thinks she's some big strategic player but she's not (false) and Jerri says P was just tucked under his wing the whole time (kettle? Meet pot. Minus the fact this is NOT true).

Treemail where they go on the stupid journey to see all of the "fallen comrades". Boring and I don't have to say anything for ten minutes. Well besides RIP Boston Rob. Sad emoticon.

Challenge: Navigating a maze blindfolded while collecting four necklaces. First one to the immunity necklace, wins. WHAT?! No endurance challenge? Boohockey! It's a glorified version of Marco Polo (which I would excuse if this took place in China but it doesn't so fail). Poverty is banging into stuff. Sandra is following P's voice. Poverty and Russell get their last necklace at the same time and he is shoving her and pushing her all over the place. Classy. Also probably trying to cop a feel. It's a suspenseful ending as Jerri, Poverty, and Russell are all inches away from the immunity necklace. Russell gets up on his tippy toes and manages to reach the necklace. Russell wins but let's face it he wasn't going anywhere since they all know he is the ticket to the million. Jerri is all excited thinking she is guaranteed a spot in the final three. Russ makes Jeff put on the necklace. Douche.

Russ tells Sandra she is in a real good spot. She knows it's because she already won the million and no one will vote for her again. "That's alright, I'll take the 100,000." For real. But then she says Russell doesn't think she will get a single vote "But I don't know about thaaaaaat." I love her. Russell wants Jerri gone cause she is a guaranteed vote on the jury. Yeah, I'm sure people always vote for the person that burned/blindsided them. Has he ever watched this show before?

TC in the TH: Ping ponging between Jerri, Poverty, Jerri, Poverty. Poverty says she has been protecting Russell the entire time. His face is one of anger, frustration, surprise, and disbelief. She tries to dislodge her foot from her mouth and say they've been protecting each other. I immediately worry this is going to be another Danielle-like ousting. Aaaaaand Jerri's out. Let's face it, she needed to go. She could maybe beat the other girls since she has never won and a freaking palm tree could beat Russell at this point. So see ya later Jer!

Day 39! Breakfast feast, natch. Russell interviews that he brought people he could beat this time around since "it didn't work last time". I honestly think this was filmed on a green screen because it sort of looks funny AND I checked out the dates and the finale of Samoa wasn't until a good three months until after HvV finished filming. Don't say I didn't do my research (coughWikipediacough). Maybe he is basing this on the Samoan jury reaction but I don't think he knew the votes during the filming of HvV. He did after all launch RussellGotScrewed.com practically seconds after the Samoa finale premiered. I'm just saying.

At Russell's prompting, Poverty says that if she had ended up on the jury that she would have voted for Sandra. Russell says his game was better than Poverty's. False. Sandra says she is going to burn his hat and goes and throws the fedora in the fire. Awesome. Give her the million now. Such sweet justice for him burning Jaison's socks (twice) on his first season. Sandra says Russell has a big bald spot he doesn't want anyone to know about "but we've been out here 39 days. I've seen it a whole lot of times." +100 Sandra. Give this woman a tv show! You'd almost feel a little sorry for him if he wasn't such an arrogant jerk.

Poverty burns down the shelter and like always I think this is very environmentally unsafe. Sandra says she never hid behind an immunity idol. Touche. (Sidenote: Watching this again after knowing the outcome, there are a LOT of Sandra interviews. Should have been this coming).

Final TC and Reunion in the next post to split it up a little! I'm wordy! Trust me, this is WAAAAAY shorter than it could have been.