This is the second part of my Survivor Recap. First part is here:
Final TC in the TH: Jury time! I love it. Sandra says she's stuck around even though her alliance was decimated. She points out how she tried to get the Heroes to vote out Russell but they never got on board (coughCandicecough). Russell says his game didn't involve luck. Really? So rooting around under random trees in the jungle isn't luck? I see how he could argue it is strategy but please. It was luck. This guy is delusional. Poverty points out she was a threat from day one and she's still here. She calls Russell her pet and says she played a great game. I bet Russell's tongue is bleeding from biting down on it. I wonder if they had to edit out him trying to interrupt. Wouldn't surprise me.
Jury questioning highlights:
-Colby calls Russell out on the no-luck comment. +1 Colby. Poverty points out how she played the two idols for other people at the risk of getting voting out herself. Point to Poverty.
-Coach calls Russell a little man in stature and word. Zing! He says Poverty was a warrior in challenges. He asks no questions. Sit down fool.
-Amanda asks Sandra why her strategy was better. She basically points out how dumb the Heroes were to never vote out Russell when she was willing to jump ship. Pwned.
-Twiggy is voting for Sandra. That's all.
- JT says he made his bed and he's going to lie in it and thinks Russell should do the same. Russell just listens to the "lie" part and keeps yapping about how good of a game he played.
-Danielle says Russ sucks at jury management and no one respects him so he's not going to get any votes. Boom.
-Jerri wants to know why she wasn't taken to the end. Russell says she was too well liked and was going to win. Poverty and Sandra interrupt and say he knew he was going to get Jerri's vote so that's why. And there goes his one potential vote.
- Candice says Russ went too far with the lying. She metaphorically calls Poverty a battered woman. Inapprop.
-Rupert. He's got on his condescending and judgmental voice so this will be good. He says Russell shouldn't be proud of how he played the game. He apologizes to Sandra for not going along with her plan. Poverty finally points out that she had no one to align with but Russell so people need to lay off on the fact she worked with him.
Hmmm... no tears. No snake/rat speech. No charity questions. What an absurd final TC. If I was on Survivor, here is what I would say at Final TC if I was in the final 2/3. Since everyone on that jury is a bitter Betty and Bobby, you should point out that you HAD to vote them out because they were a threat, because they were going to win if they made it to the end. That it doesn't mean you are a better person than them, it just means you played a slightly better strategic game and that's cause their gameplay was forcing you to do that. You gotta stroke their massive egos and say if you could change anything, you wish that feelings wouldn't have gotten hurt or anything taken personally but you understand cause you might feel the same way. Never say "it's just a game" because that sends people into a tizzy.
We see the following votes:
Poverty: Jerri, Danielle, and Coach (where an eagle screech accompanies his statement that "King Arthur's journey has ended". Seriously editors, submit this for your Emmy reel. I'm dying laughing).
Sandra: Candice, Courtney, and Rupert (Sandra was right about how she'll still get his vote).
No amazing trek back the USA by Jeff. Drats. Time to read the votes! We see all of the ones we already saw and then two more for Sandra! She looks so purdy! The first two-time winner: Sandra Diaz-Twine!
I just didn't want Russell to win. I wish Poverty would have since she played a way better strategic and physical game but most juries can't see past their hurt egos. Again, I maintain as I have since last season that Russell is always kept around because everyone knows they can wipe the floor with him at the end. So Russell missed his chance to eliminate his biggest threat numerous times (Sandra) and Sandra's plan repeatedly being foiled by the Heroes ending up rewarding her with the million. Irony!
Reunion show highlights:
- Russell says there is a flaw in the game: America should be able to vote. I believe that show is called "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here". Dear God, please no. Don't let that be Russell's next move.
- Russell has LAMINATED the note from JT and is talking about he made a winner look like the dumbest player ever. JT reaches from behind and tries to throw it in the fire accompanied with a "No!" and flailing by Russell. LEGEND. DARY.
- Jeff says Russell was a delusional, arrogant, mouthy idiot every single day. Gee I wonder who called that last season? Oh yeah ME.
- We get a shot of Sandra's hubby. Thanks for serving our country!
- Russell: Poverty should have won.
Jeff: Again Russell that's a different game. That's called Russell Decides Who Wins Survivor.
I gotta say I don't care for Jeff but he is on fire tonight.
- Russell says he doesn't care about the jury. He keeps saying he only played the game once and doesn't answer Jeff's very direct question. Sandra pipes in (even though her mic is turned off) and says "He doesn't understand".
- Boston Rob points out that Russell plays to make it to the end but he doesn't play to win since he burns too many bridges and insults too many people so he's not gonna get votes.
- "But given the opportunity I will gladly go back and kick your ass all over the island." -Boston Rob. WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN. The only way it would have been better would been if he said "Just as many times as you" when Russell asked how many times he has won. He refuses to shake his hand probably because Russell is the smoke monster.
- JT wins the Dumbest Move ever award.
- Coach kinda humps Colby on national television. Awkward.
- Stephenie is lame and plugs her restaurant on tv when she gets asked her one question. Lame. Jeff rolls his eyes. Awesome.
- "Just one question, not a lot of time .....because you will tell a story," Jeff to Coach. Did Jeff take some awesome pills before this reunion? He is killing it.
- We see Rob and Amber's cute baby, Lucia Rose. Awwwwww. According to Cirie's twitter they are pregs again but I haven't seen that info anywhere else (she also said Colby and Danielle are hooking up).
- Russell wins Sprint Player of the Game probably because he made his four children text vote after vote like a mini sweatshop since honestly fifteen people clap when he wins. And Rupert was his competitor? What about Rob? Poverty? Heck, even Sassy Courtney? America, you disappoint me (but not when it comes to American Idol... Lee FTW!).
- "Russell, damn you" -Danielle. Yup, that sums up this season.
- The Survivor compilation image was the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
I totally called the next season taking place in Nicaragua. Well that or Antarctica. But then they wouldn't have ladies in bikinis and shirtless dudes so can't do that. At least I was right. While I always love the All Star seasons, I'm excited to have some fresh blood and no preformed alliances running the game. Bring it on Burnett!
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