Previously on * slight pause * Survivor: A long montage of the "moves" Russell has made. Could the little hobbit possibly be exiting this week?! One can only hope. He did waste that immunity idol last week cause he sucks at the social aspect of the game. Oh yeah and Candice was an idiot, turned on her own tribe and Amanda was voted out.
Let me just say: I got excited when I found out this was going to be a double elimination. Then I saw on another board someone's comment that it would probably just be Colby and Rupert therefore eliminating the last of the Heroes. I entered this episode with low expectations.
Night 30: Jerri is immediately suspicious of Candice since "once a flopper, always a flopper" and wants her gone since they don't need her anymore (can someone please count HOW many times this happened in the entire series of Survivor. They use you and then throw you out next time. It has to be in the dozens by now) Colby and Rupert start filling out a page about Candice in their Burn Book. Pathetic, self-centered, weak. There are no other Heroes" Rupert laments. Okay, no need to be that dramatic.
No credits. Yessss. Let's get our game faces on.
Rupert says Russell is "worse than Johnny Fairplay" and confronts him, particularly about how Russell swore on his kids' lives. Russell plays the "it's just a game" card. Russell slams Rupert and calls him "the good guy, the second coming of Christ" and while I do think Rupert should be knocked down a few pegs (he's never won, the fans just like him for whatever reason) Russell is throwing out whatever because he can't believe someone is actually standing up to him. "You're a dumbass,” he says to Rupert (let's keep that in mind for later). All in all, +5 to Rupert.
Immunity challenge: Endurance challenge. Stand on a perch, hold your arm up that is chained to a bucket for as long as possible or a bucket of colored water/paint will come crashing down and you're out. Food items will be temptations for people to drop out. Poverty has won this challenge before and lasted six (?!?!) hours. Couldn't this come after a shower reward challenge so we don't have to see all of the girls' overgrown armpits? Gross.
After literally ONE minute, Sandra and Russell want out and don't care what the mystery food item is (cookies and milk. Win). Colby drops out for doughnuts and iced coffee. Seriously?! You're on your way the door; wait 24 more hours to eat. -5 Colby. Candice earns like half a cool point as Colby's neon green water comes crashing down and says "Ninja turtle style". She is whispering with Danielle during the challenge "Will Poverty hang on? Someone needs to beat Rupert" Oh how quickly we assimilated ourselves into the V tribe.
35 minutes pass and Jeff brings out PB&J, chips, and candy and Danielle, Jerri, and Candice are out. I'd be pissed if I were the one on my tribe everyone hung their hopes on and I had to suffer and go home with an empty stomach. Their buckets come crashing down and Danielle exposes herself and that’s par for the course. "Your pants just came off," Jerri announces like the idiot she is. And then there were two.
After an hour and ten minutes, Rupert slips off the perch and Poverty wins. I do think that a lot of challenges have favored the girls solely because they include balancing. There is a reason they don't have the balance beam as a men's sport in gymnastics. They suck at it. I’m calling shenanigans on a producer being in love with Poverty and wanting to see her make it to the end so she can be his Sugar Mama.
Jeff reads a rhyming clue to the entire group for the next HII. They get back to camp and everyone scrambles off in search of the idol. Somehow Sandra (?!?) is the one to find it instead of Russell. She knows she can't read it in front of everyone so she stashes it at another spot. +50 Sandra
Rupert is somewhat brilliant and puts a rock in his pocket to make it look like he is stashing the idol. Guess who falls for it hook, line, and sinker? Russell "You're a dumbass" Hantz. Ahhh.... irony is sweet.
The Vs decide to split the vote between Rupert and Colby in the event Rupert plays the "idol". Jerri is weary of Candice and wants to vote for her instead of Colby. The girls are discussing this behind a structure. A structure, which conceals not only you but also the person on the other side. Colby overhears their plan and he and Rupert are going to throw up a Hail Mary and vote for Candice so she can be out 5-3 and have a little revenge for voting Amanda out. Hey, that sounds like an idea someone else had! (Hint: Me!)
TC in the TH: Rupert and Colby gang up on Candice about turning on them. Candice's logic is faulty because the Heroes did have the numbers with Sandra so she sucks. Russell keeps saying "partnahs". When did this become Blazing Saddles? Time to read the votes. Rupert stays in his seat and everyone is a little puzzled. Jeff reads the first vote and COMMERCIAL. Oh this means it's going to be good.
Three votes for Rupert and then.... Candice! YES! This is going to work!! Five votes later she is out and another castaway falls victim to the consequences of being a flip flopper. Love it! Russell is pissed they didn’t split the votes between Colby and Rupert and is freaking out trying to predict outcomes, and decides he needs to take control of this game.
Immunity challenge already?!? Love it! Obstacle course involving table mazes, climbing walls, and a puzzle with only a certain number of people moving on to the next round. It comes down to the sliding puzzle with Russell, Rupert, and Poverty. Russell pulls out the win. Boooooo.
Poverty says they are voting for Rupert tonight and goes on and on about how the Vs are going to weed out the Heroes and they are running the show and there won’t be a single Hero left.
Since Russell has immunity around his neck and is safe from the vote, he decides to stir up some trouble: He is going to tell Poverty that Danielle is gunning for her and vice versa. If this guy didn’t have immunity he never would have made such a huge move so let’s not give him too much credit for strategizing. I’m all for eliminating the threat but seriously people, WAIT until the rest of the other tribe is gone. See: Tocantins and Samoa where tribes came in vastly outnumbered and ended up in the finals.
Russell runs and tells Poverty that Danielle wants her out. Poverty’s WTF face along with “Why does she want to do that?” isn’t one of shock or betrayal; it’s her BS meter ringing off the charts. She says she is going to talk to Danielle and Russell goes in to panic mode saying she will be the next one out of this game and threatening her. Russell does not do well when his back is against a wall. Poverty went up a couple of notches for seeing through his crap and not backing down. +10 Poverty. I still don’t like her but I’m rooting for her out everyone that is left (RIP Boston Rob).
Poverty and Danielle talk and rightly assume Russell is worried that if they end up in the final three, the girls will take each other and he’ll be on the outs (guess no one told them this is going to be a final 3 situation). I never noticed how pronounced of an accent Danielle has. Boston maybe? All I know is I want her to stop talking. Russell thinks that this will make Poverty scared of him and she’ll follow his every order from here on out if Danielle gets voted out. I didn’t watch her previous seasons but didn’t Russell? Cause she doesn’t strike me as the type to be “scurred” of anyone in this game.
Russell tells Jerri to vote for Danielle (along with Colby and Rupert) and when she asks him to elaborate when he says she will be next if she doesn’t (which makes NO sense), he just says, “I can’t”. I repeat: Russell has no strategy beyond going after anyone who is slightly against him. He is only keeping Poverty (the bigger threat) since she has already won the game and figures people won’t vote for her again.
TC in the TH: Danielle says the Vs are making decisions together. Jerri says the opposite. Danielle and Poverty reveal that they were pitted against each other and Russell is at the root of it. Russell tries to flip it on Danielle and she calls him a liar. They are arguing and talking over each other and Danielle starts to cry. She says she is exhausted and it is getting to be too much for her and everyone on the jury scoffs and I believe JT mutters, “Boo hoo”. Yeah, not a smart way to campaign for votes. All of them wish they were exhausted and still in the game. Russell tries to play victim and Twiggy is Eliza-ing it up over on the side with her reactions because they all know anything that comes out of his mouth is Grade A crap. And then Danielle pulls her last round of ammunition out of her bag and says, “I’m closer to Poverty than you think” and promptly shoots herself in the foot. Poverty practically does a face palm. I mean everyone knows you’re working together but no need to throw out that kind of statement, honey. This isn’t the time to brag about sitting at the cool kids lunch table. You’re playing for a million dollars! Danielle tries to slap a band-aid over her bullet hole and says, “We’re all fine!” while they are clearly anything but. Russell mouths to Jerri to vote for Danielle. Time to vote.
Russell spells his vote "Danellie". Well I think we now know who voted for “Luara” last season. I wonder if he does it on purpose just to spite them or if he is dyslexic. Jerri votes and says her vote is “sealing [her] fate”. I’m intrigued. Jeff reads the votes and 3 votes for Rupert and then 4 votes for Danielle and she’s out of there. “That’s messed up” says Poverty and I actually agree. Way to oust yourself from your alliance.
Next week: Russell is trying to team up with the Heroes and I pray Rupert actually spews his holier-than-thou crap so that this doesn’t happen. The finale is on Sunday!!!!! HECK YES! Team Anyone But Russell (or Jerri who has done nothing)!
And I know I’ve said it before but go and watch Ponderosa!!! JT, Coach, and Courtney have started a band called The Dragons and they have a music video. Go!
P.S. Couldn't find pics online anywhere. Sorry!
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