Please, please, please, pleaseeeee be Shambo!
Night 27. Shambo gloats about Laura getting voted off either. Look, I didn't like Laura either but I am going to have a freaking parade the night Shambo gets voted off. I hope she gets blindsided and cries. I really despise her. Anyway, John explains why he flopped and voted for Laura. Monica calls John a "Judas". I call him "smart".
Day 28. Treemail. They all get envelopes with money and know a food auction is coming up. They all freak out. Shambo talks in her screechy voice that she must think the audience finds endearing since clearly it's not natural. We don't, so you can stop now. She also says she is starving and eating off the muscle of her body. So did your body eat all of your muscle cause I'm not seeing any left. Evidence: You're pretty much the first one out in every single challenge.
Auction: They each got $500, no sharing money or food. Bidding goes in increments of $20.
-PB&J sandwich. Natalie immediately bids $200 and wins. She is also wearing some blue ribbon necklace with a large shell and it is ugly and distracting. I am pulling for you Nat but take that monstrosity off.
-Next up: a covered item. Some bidding ensues and Shambo wins. And it's a plate of slug guts. I'm so glad she won that. She takes a bite and I think she is trying to be funny by asking if it has "nutritional starch value" and I hate her a little bit more.
-Covered item #2. Bidding war between Spacey, Jaison, and Monica. Monica wins a whole roasted chicken and everyone freaks out. Monica digs in and you know she ate like one leg and was full and all the boys hated her.
-Next item: An advantage in the next Immunity challenge. Bidding war between John and Jaison. Jaison goes all law school on us and asks what happens if they both bid the full $500. Jeff says someone is going to get there first and Jaison bids the $500 and gets the clue. Smart move!
-Mick immediately bids $500 on a burger, fries, and beer. The burger is seriously the size of Mick's head. Jaison is regretting his purchase.
-Next item: clue to the hidden immunity idol. Isn't that a little unfair since Russell has it? Oh well. John wins. I would have been suspicious if Russell wasn't bidding on it since he is all about the HII.
-Next item: A shower which you will take in front of everyone. Once Nat hears clean undies is also a part of the reward, she bids and wins. Shambo is craning her neck to see into the shower and I think we all now know why she is a "former" marine. Someone asked, someone told...
-Next item: a piece of apple pie. Bidding war between MFBB and John. John wins. Oooh a conundrum! He can keep his piece of pie or split four pieces between four other members of the tribe. Selfish or buy good will? John asks if anyone is stoked on pie and everyone answers in the affirmative. John ignores this and chooses to keep his own slice and screw over four potential votes. You already betrayed your own tribe/alliance. Probably not the best move Johnny boy. "I am confident no one is going to vote me off because they didn't get a piece of pie". Russell says how it was a terrible move and I agree with the little man.
End of auction: MFBB, Spacey, Jaison, Russell, and Shambo all go home with empty bellies. Well MFBB probably would have given up the pie had he won, so he was screwed either way. He is such a good person. Sigh.
John roots around for the HII with his purchased clue. The clue doesn't even rhyme. It might as well say "Give up. Russell has it. Yup, another one". He roots around and says some stuff looks disturbed. Really? You're in the jungle. Is everything neat and orderly there? To his credit, he does seem to look in the correct spot but we already know Russ has it and John assumes he does as well.
Well this leaf seems out of place, and this rock is slightly overturned. I think Russell has been here.
It is time to kill the chickens. Shambo delivers the bad news to them. She says she will see them in heaven. * Facepalm * She says they were her sole source of happiness. She refuses to kill them because they have had conversations and she swears they understood her. If there was any doubt before that this woman was a looney tune, I think it has fully been confirmed now.
Jaison and Mick question Shambo's cooking method about her formerly feathered friends. She says "I might not know a lot about a lot of things but when it comes to cooking, that's time to say shut up if you're me." And if you're me, you say SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! Ugh! I cannot stand this woman. And she clearly doesn't know a lot about grammar and syntax! There is a disgusting shot of a chicken's foot/claw/talon/I-don't-know-the-proper-term in the broth. Gag.
Spacey argues with Shambo about the chicken cooking for two hours. She tells him to butt out because she is in no mood and we can just call it "a bad case of PMS". This woman never ceases to amaze me. Spacey counters that he is the one who actually won the chickens so he'd like a say in it. Shambo says she isn't listening like the mature adult she is but Spacey drops it pretty quickly. Shambo needs to put on a shirt. And I thought the chicken foot was the most disturbing image. False. Don't worry, I won't burn your retinas with photographic evidence.
There is some freaky footage of Shambo asleep with jerky motions and weird music. She says God made her really special and she has had 30 clairvoyant dreams in her lifetime when she has been pondering something. She calls it God's divine intervention. She dreamt they voted Spacey off. How strange since you claim no one has pissed you off more in your time on the island. Not to go all John Locke/Destiny/Jack Shephard/Free Will on you, BUT if it's a situation you've been thinking about and then you have a dream where you make a decision and then you do the decision in real life, I wouldn't really call that "clairvoyant" but more so "Hey, I had this dream about what my (maybe not-so) subconscious really wants. Let's do it and then pretend like God told me to!"
Shambo tells Russ about her dream. Russ knows she is an idiot and runs with it since he is all about getting rid of Galu until he has the numbers and can make it all the way to the end. If Russell realizes you're an idiot, then you have some serious problems.
Day 30: Immunity challenge. Each member will hold onto a rope with a heavy log attached. Every three minutes, they must alternate hands and move down another notch, making the weight heavier and heavier as they move down the rope. If they let go, they lose. Person to last the longest wins. Jaison gets to read his advantage: At any point, he can move up two notches so he has less weight and therefore a significant advantage. I laugh at Jeff basically rewording the clue like we didn't understand the first time. Well, you don't win an Emmy by being quiet I guess.
First person out: Shambo. Well color me surprised.
Soldier down!
She falls backwards, heels over head and is grunting on the ground. I immediately think we are going to see a Coach injury 2.0 but alas no such luck of fake ailments and unnecessarily calling out the Survivor medic team.
Correction: There is a more disturbing angle of Shambo
2nd out: Russell claims he had a charley horse in his forearm. Is that the what they are calling the HII these days?
3rd out: Monica. Figures.
4th out: John. Really?
5th out: MFBB. Aw sweetie. Good try, good try * golf clap *
6th out: Mick. Eh, you can't win em all.
7th out: Natalie. NICE job! I am telling you, she is a force to be reckoned with.
Man, I'd be embarrassed if I was a guy who lost to this twig.
It's down to Spacey and Jaison. And Jaison pulls out the win! He is lucky he had the advantage because it almost looked like Spacey had it. Jaison is happy he finally won something! Me too!
"Happiness is finding your skate key/ two kinds of ice cream/
Winning immunity/ Climbing a tree"
Shambo tells us FF is at her disposal. She truly is an idiot. Does she not realize they are just using her until they have the numbers and then she will be the next one gone? Because Sham, four is going to outnumber your ONE vote. Even if Russell says he will take you to the final two that is still 3 to 2. Seriously! You're a pawn Sham! It is a sham! Wake up! (Not that I want her to last, I just would like to think no one is this stupid!)
Spacey congratulates Jaison back at camp. He is the one castaway I cannot make up my mind about: Do I like him? Do I not? I just don't know. Mick states the obvious by saying Shambo votes for whomever she is angry at. Since Laura is gone, it is now Spacey's turn. Spacey seems to realizes his end is nigh. Cute moment with Mick and Jaison saying they finally won something.
John and Russ are chat chitting (They're just words. We're not tied to them). John for some reason thinks Russ is going to vote off one of this own and then lose the lead. John sorta tricks Russ into admitting he has the HII. Russ trips over his words and blurts out he has it. Smooooth. Russell says that maybe voting off John is the better move because "he is a threat strategically. And I told him I have the HII". He starts laughing cause even he realizes his moronic move. He says if he tells you something and makes a mistake then he has to get rid of you. At least he admits it since that has pretty much been his strategy all along.
"I wasn' supposed to tell yeh that, Harry Potter." -Hagrid.
Russ tells Spacey he is next on the chopping block unless everyone else votes for John. Spacey says he will talk to Monica and says "Alright brothA" and really enunciates the "ah", making me giggle. Who does he think he is? Desmond Hume? In his dreams!
Russ asks who Mick wants to go next and he says John. Russ says Spacey is way too scared about going next not to go along with the plan. I mean, Russell, I am sort of starting to respect you as a player. And that makes me a little scared for my mental health.
Jaison points out that if they don't tell Shambo about the switch, they will be doing the exact same thing Galu did to her and then it would be a 4-4 tie next round cause she would flip back. I'm not 100% sure about what Jaison is talking about since it seemed like Shambo was always on the outs. Unless he is talking about when they voted out Erik and Shambo didn't know. But I thought it was always a given she was going to vote with FF come merge time. Maybe it wasn't. Who knows? Not me.
TC. Jury members enter and Laura looks like a floozy. Put on some clothes you 40 year old grandma.
When did they let hookers on the jury? Oh wait..
Jaison is happy to finally have a victory. Shambo thought today was peaceful day and genuine and not about the game. Russ says today was all about strategy. Sham(says)WOW! (tehehe) She is shocked. Even Jeff is caling her out about being an idiot if she thought people wouldn't be scrambling to stay in the game. She says her goals are 1) Advancing in the game (what a revolutionary strategy) and 2) It is "imperative" to her that anyone who did not work, better not win this game (another i "smart" word! What do we think next week's will be? I'm guessing imbecile in relation to FF leaving her out of the loop). And apparently Shambo is God and should decide who wins cause Jeff asks Spacey and John if they think they are deserving in Shambo's eyes. They both mumble some nonsense cause what else are you going to say? There is lots of speculation about whether the person going home tonight will be surprised. Mick and Russ say yes. Spacey says if it works out he will be shocked. Shambo says no. And John says some nonsense that I don't understand.
Voting time! Someone pointed out that Monica is rooting for a Playboy spread because she is always sashaying around in her undies. She does so on her way to vote so I agree. We see Shambo vote for Spacey and John vote for Mick. Spacey votes for John. OH! Three people receiving votes. I like it. Jeff gets the urn and we see Shambo and John's votes.
Then a vote for John. Shambo rolls her eyes, John gives the "I'm sure that is Mick's vote" understanding nod/ smug smile.
Another vote for John. The smile is now droopy.
Another vote: Furrowed brows from Shambo and John.
So I'm not all knowing and powerful? Coulda fooled me!
Another one: John's mouth drops open and Shambo knows she has been left out of the loop. Laura whispers "He is so screwed". Get over it hussy.
I think I am about to get blindsided.
10th person voted out: John. His face is the definition of bamboozle. I love this show.
Aw, crap. Guess this game is harder than rocket science.
Mick does a sideways glance/ smile because it's another blindside.
Haha, sucker.
Again, I love this show. Laura says (even though the jury isn't suppose to converse!) Shambo "has no idea what happened". You know I always thought Shambo hated Laura purely out of jealousy but clearly she is a a skank. Jeff says he can't wait to see what happens next and gives us this face:
Seriously, what are you going to do next? We couldn't write this stuff if we tried. Well you know aside from practically spoon feeding Russ three HIIs. But everything else, good job guys!
John seems quite okay with being voted out. Oh and if you aren't watching Ponderosa, you're missing out. When Laura and Kelly joined Erik, he sort of grilled them about why they chose to vote him out when they had tons of FF members to eliminate. The girls complained and said, it's over, it was a game, and to man up and get over it. The minute our boy John walks into Ponderosa though, Laura is all over him, demanding answers as to why he flipped causing her elimination. AGAIN, why would he pull a rock and potentially get voted off while you are sitting pretty, immune from the vote? He is playing for himself. Not for you, not for Galu, himself. Laura is an idiot, unattractive, and a hypocrite.
Next week on * slight pause * Survivor: Mick finally steps up and suggests voting out Russell. THANK YOU. I'm glad he is catching on to this because they need to get rid of him before he becomes the "well I could probably take him to the final two and win since every one else hates him" option. I want to see Brett and Natalie in the final two. Or Mick and Jaison. Any combination of those four. And now that is probably the order they will get voted off in. I am always the kiss of death.
Oh and CBS never posted photos this week so I had to depend on screengrabs from other bloggers. Sorry pics are a little scant! And none of MFBB.... a bad week indeed.
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