"There are some things we don't talk about/ Rather do without"

Here are seven things that definitely will not be happening in my book:

1. I won't lie to you, lead you astray. Well at least not in terms of "he is my best friend, nothing would ever happen between us" only to have them end up together in the last chapter. Not happening.

2. On a similar note, I will not introduce a character that is repulsive and annoying, and then... ta da... have the main character end up with him in the last chapter. SO unbelievable.

3. There will be no going to England or Australia for self-discovery. I imagine those authors' thought processes are something like this: "She has to go somewhere new and learn something! But I am not going to learn something like a new language to incorporate into my book so I'll just put her in England since they speak English there and just use words like " the tube" and "my flat" and "Happy Christmas" and "Blimey".

4. There is no rich relative who dies and leaves behind a million dollars/a house in a different country where the character must live for a year before selling it. Who knew this was such a common plot device?

5. In the midst of a broken heart, my character will not open a bakery that will end up being the best place in town. I guess because main characters are girls and girls should be able to bake so I'll have her do that and be successful and independent!

6. No vampires. Or werewolves. Or witches. Though I did enjoy the Harry Potter and Twilight series, I'm not all about fantasy/sci-fi stuff.

7. In an earlier post I said how much I hate the ambiguous ending. So that can be #7.

Don't you fret. I won't do any of these things! Mini rants... done!