Previously on * slight pause * Survivor: Russell is king of the hill, Shambo is voting with FF, and FF is starting to question one another. Six remain, who will be voted out tonight?
I vote for anyone who is currently looking forward in this photo
Night 33: MFBB is giving Shambo a head massage. I immediately want to go back in time, fly out to Samoa and give him a gallon of hand sanitizer for the bacteria and parasites that are surely growing in that rat's nest.
The original source of the Swine Flu outbreak
MFBB acknowledges that he is the last true Galu member and he is sitting in his own camp with people he barely knows. He then turns to the camera and proposes to me and I immediately accept. Oh wait, that only happened in my dreams, whoops!
Day 36: MFBB is reciting passages from the bible. My mother will now immediately approve if I ever actually meet him/date him/marry him. YAY! He says he has bonded with Natalie and they come from a similar walk of life and that's a foundation for a trusting relationship. I hope he means alliance wise and not relationship-relationship wise.
Just remember 2 Timothy 2:22 you two.
Natalie says he is a sweetheart and they've had some talks about the bible and Christian books and it's nice to have that in common with someone. Too bad you and Laura weren't on the same tribe. She is a such an upstanding Christian lady with class and virtues. Not.
Shambo says she needs to go "wet her head" and needs a new haircut. Thank you Captain Obvious. Russell then launches into a tirade about Shambo's mullet. He jokes that is where she hoards food. He says if he didn't need her, he would definitely get rid of her. Considering he is sharing a love shack with her off in the woods, this is rather surprising. By the way, have we noticed how much weight the little leprachaun has lost? I mean his belly is waaay smaller than it used to be. I bet his weight loss will be shocking if he ever ends up at Ponderosa.
"I just found something in my hair. That's never good, it's never like a treat" -Bonus points if you can guess who said this. Hint: It's a comedian.
Reward challenge: It's basically like KerPlunk. A bunch of coconuts are being held up with intersecting ropes. Teams will take turns pulling a rope out and hoping few, if any, coconuts fall out. The first team to cause 100 coconuts to fall will lose. The reward is being taken to a local village complete with a feast and a sleepover while being hosted by locals.
"To win it all, don't let the coconuts fall!"
This is what I've always thought about the overnight rewards: I would be so worried if members of my alliance went off with other castaways because what if they struck up a deal while they were gone. Granted I could do the same if I was stuck back at camp but especially with three people going and they could agree to go to the end together. But I'd still be nervous.
Natalie and Russell are captains. Natalie gets to pick first. She picks MFBB which everyone is surprised by. So the teams are: Natalie, MFBB, and Mick aka Team Frigging AWESOME! and Russell, Jaison, and Shambo aka Team Whiners.
Shambo goes first and Jeff asks her about her mullet. She says it is Shambo-licious cause she still thinks it is 2001 and has had it for 23 years because "you don't mess with perfection baby". You know what's not perfection, Shambo's rope selection because she drops four coconuts. She does a strange chant as she walks back to her team and like I thought Nat was a cheerleader in high school, Shambo most certainly was not. Again, she struggles with that intricate art of "rhyming" you know, the stuff they teach you in PRE-SCHOOL!
Mick goes next and drops only two coconuts with his gentle, healing hands. Natalie asks MFBB if he is a prayer warrior and she takes his hand and they begin to pray. Well if this isn't the sweetest moment on Survivor ever, I don't know what is.
Russ quietly comments to Shambo how he is surprised by Natalie picking MFBB first. I would agree but if I were Natalie I would have said in my cute southern drawl that "Well Russell I would have picked you first but you were on the other team and I didn't want to have to pick between Mick and Jaison because I like them both so much so I went with MFBB." And it would have been brilliant. Moving on.... Russell says they have to break up that trio because something might be going on as the camera pans to the three with their hands joined in prayer. Jaison drops seven coconuts.
Team Prayer Warrior
Natalie is up and she drops only one. Guess the prayers worked. Shambo calls her a "lucky little bitch". Russell then drops a whole lot so Team Whiners has way more at this point.
I say the same about you only I don't use "lucky" or "little"
MFBB steps up to the plate and drops only one cause he is awesome. 19-4 in favor of Team Awesome. Shambo drops ten. Then Mick drops like a billion coconuts and it is pretty much even. Jaison has a mini avalanche (48) that is almost comical how many keeping dropping, complete with one last delayed coconut that lands with a mocking plunk. Haha.
Wait for me!
Natalie steps up. Shambo guesses 58 will drop. A freaking landslide occurs and Natalie just says "oh my word" over and over. I mean that is going to happen as fewer ropes are available to hold everything up. She drops strangely enough 58 so Shambo was right and now Team Awesome isn't as awesome.
Guess God was busy dealing with death, sickness, and war
Russell is up and drops none probably because the producers told him which rope to pick. And then MFBB is up and he pretty much picks the one that was holding all of the remaining coconuts and they are over the limit meaning Team Whiners is now Team Winners. Natalie is sweet and tells them to enjoy it along with a wink. There is a lot of winking this season and I don't enjoy it since I think it is actually one of the creepiest things a person can do.
Jaison also voices concern about Natalie picking MFBB and how divisions maybe be appearing in their alliance. Well Jaison since you will probably vote off Natalie, Mick, or Russell before yourself then yes I would say there are probably some divisions occurring.
At the reward, Jaison makes a failed attempt at a joke about never having been on one before. And the three meet the locals and eat some food including Shambo ripping the skin off a whole pig like she's a coyote and the pig is Jessica Simpson's dog (too soon?).
I thank you along with this inappropriate stance that probably offends you greatly
All three are shoveling food in, knowing it gives them a physical edge in the immunity challenge. Shambo makes a toast to the people of Samoa. They all start drinking and dancing and methinks there was a little alcohol in that milky looking beverage. Jaison says he is about to get jiggy with it, taking us back to 1998.
Shake ya moneymaker like somebody bout to pay ya
Back at camp, the three losers decide to collect some snails and watch the sunset together on the beach and enjoy the day. No, no, no, no! Make an alliance!!! Vote off Russell! COME ON! Does Mick even try to pull up his swim trunks? They sure do blur out a lot of his tushie and groin-area.
I present to you Exibit A dash S dash S.
Natalie says how she likes MFBB and Mick but she has been aligned with Russell since the beginning. She is struggling about whether to think with her heart or her head. OMG is she in love with MFBB?! This will not be okay in my book. Is it Rob/Amber 2.0?! She talks about loyalty and whatnot and how she is conflicted.
Oh! Is that another rat? We're about eat some real food, y'all! It'll be just like KFC!
At the reward, Shambo giggles like a maniac and talks like a six year old. Jaison says he thought it was interesting Nat picked MFBB and Shambo calls it "telling". Russ wonders what the three are talking about back at camp (I'm thinking like Russ... yikes!) and he says Mick might have to go next if MFBB wins immunity. The three decide to work together to be the final three.
All six are reunited the next morning at camp. Natalie goes to talk to Russell and they say how the two of them plus Jaison will be the final three. Natalie, like Jaison, thinks they are helping Russell call the shots but if two other people think that, then probably Russell is the one actually doing it.
Russ: Well I can't be stopped, I'll vote you out the second you doubt me
See: Marisa, Betsy, Ashley, Liz, John, and Monica
Russell says MFBB isn't a huge threat in challenges but he is a threat to winning the million dollars. However Russell has never won individual immunity. Maybe he has been on the shortlist (pun intended) but never actually won. Sure he doesn't really needed to thanks to three HIIs but I'm just saying, he's not a HUGE threat either.
Immunity Challenge: Each member must race out to a course where they have to count the objects in six groups of items. They must remember the numbers and use the numbers to combination lock, unlock it and break their tile, and the first to do so wins immunity.
Jeff gives the go and they're off. Russ and Jaison are leading the pack but not by much considering they had food. They have to count rocks, pigs, crabs, fish, octopus, and coconuts. I bet the fish and octopus smell heavenly.
I am currently jumping up and down, praying for a MFBB win
Jaison, Mick, and Russell seem to be in the lead. Brett, Nat, and Shambo are taking their time counting.
Numbers 1:54
Jaison and Mick are the first to start working on their combinations. MFBB slightly wipes out on his way back. Mick, Jaison, Russell, and MFBB are all working on their combinations. Jaison and Mick have wrong numbers so they have to go back. And MFBB is getting his last number in place and successfully unlocks the combination. He then breaks the tile with some panache:
and MFBB WINS INDIVIDUAL IMMUNITY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm surprised Jeff hasn't tried to Trademark his "And [name] wins immunity" * raises arms with pointer and middle fingers up, slight bend at the elbow * yet.
Hooray! Happy day! He lives to see another day! I'm so happy.
Marry me?
To Russell's credit, he congratulates MFBB. I [heart] MFBB. Jaison is worried about MFBB continuing to win immunity since it'll screw up their plan. J says it is Shambo's time to go.
Back at camp, Jaison and Russ are talking and J says it is time for Shambo to go. I guess because if there is any chance of beating MFBB for immunity, Mick is a better shot than Shambo so they should keep him around. Shambo walks up and Jaison gets all guilty and immediately walks away. To Shambo's credit, she is suspicious and assumes they were talking about potentially voting her out. Russ lies and says J wants to get rid of Mick, he just feels guilty and doesn't want to talk about voting out one of their own. Shambo seems to buy it but continues to ask questions and says she is uneasy and knows she could be on the chopping block.
Sometimes even I can't believe the crap that comes outta my one-tooth-too-few mouth!
Russ and Mick are talking and Russ insults Shambo a whooole lot. Insulting her breath, how she is a close-talker, she annoys him, and he is ready for her to go. He says one day without her will be heaven. Mick is surprised by the new Shambo-Hate and is skeptical. And now I am too. Who is it going to be? MICK: STEP UP AND VOTE RUSSELL OUT WITH MFBB AND NATALIE. Or tell Jaison that Russ is going to take Natalie to the final two because he can beat her with ease since J would be a bigger challenge. COME ON! Wake up!
Tonight is the last night Russell can play the idol and he says he is going to wear it to TC and "be Russell being Russell". Well at least he's honest.
And apparently missing fingers in addition to teeth
TC: In walks the jury and Monica is all gussied up. Are half of the bags these girls packed filled with makeup? Maybe she just borrowed some shalaque and paint rollers from Laura. There is talk about whether it is an advantage to keep Shambo since she betrayed her tribe. Russell says he trusts Shambo as much as FF. Everyone is wondering who is going to get the most votes for the million dollars. WHY ARE YOU KEEPING RUSSELL THEN?! The other threat is MFBB since he is smart, loyal, physical, and supermegafoxyawesome hot. Oh sorry I added that last one in there. Mick lists his attributes and I worry he could be going home. Russell says this is the first hard vote he has had to make. Yikes! What is going to happen!?
Before Jeff reads the votes, he asks Russell if he wants to play the HII. Russell says he will hold on to it as a souvenior and everyone on the jury rolls their eyes and scoffs. I think that move could cost him a few votes if he makes it to the end.
Yeah well that jerk successfully annihilated your tribe. In other news: I think Monica and John are long lost siblings. Like Jack and Claire!
Votes are read and it's Mick, Shambo, Shambo, Shambo and the thirteen person voted out of Survivor is Shambo! I thought I would be more excited but I'm not. I'm just glad she isn't going to win it all. Even though I do wonder how many votes she would have received had she made it to the end.
See ya, would never, ever, in my entire life, not for a moment, wanna be ya!
Next time on * slight pause * Survivor: TWO HOUR FINALE TIME!
Oh and here is an exit interview I found with Shambo. She actually refuses to answer the guy's question when he insinuates that she just votes with her emotions and had no real strategy and then ended the conversation. Nice.
Oh and also, I've been watching Ponderosa. It's fascinating. And I felt a tiny bit bad for all of my dislike for Shambo. I still think she is a few sandwiches short of a picnic but Laura and Kelly are rude to her from the second she walks into camp. She even tells Laura how she looked beautiful at TCs and Laura just sits there. Kelly hides behind the bar chugging alcohol inorder to deal with having to interact with her.
One quote from John that I thought was interesting is he explains how his gameplan didn't work because everyone would just vote off whoever they were upset with. He said none of these other people ever had to work in an office (which is mostly true, we just see a lot of "Hair stylist" "Bartender" "Law Student" in the descriptions) so they don't know how to get along with people they don't necessarily like. So because everyone got mad at Erik for supposedly trying to get Monica out, everyone went for him and that was the slow beginning of Galu's huge loss (Russell's HII helped of course) but I thought that was an interesting point. Guess that's why John is a rocket scientist.
Oh and who does everyone want to win? Honestly, I'd be happy with any of the final five to win. But I am pulling a tiny bit more for Natalie or Brett. Russell is kinda in the middle for playing an insane game. Mick and Jaison are less because Mick never really stepped up (at least not yet) but he is attractive and did win some crucial immunities. And Jaison was a bit of a whiner and almost gave up at one point. So yeah.
Aaaand, who does everyone want to win the bonus cash? I think a lot of people are assuming Russell will win the bonus cash for Favorite Player or whatever but at the same time I think the producers really shoved him down our throats and a lot of people really hate him. So maybe it will be Jaison? Or Brett? Maybe Russell Swan who had to leave because he was all weak and about to die? What do you think?
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