"Some things get lost/ Some things just disappear"

I got too cocky. "Oh I'm writing a chapter a day!" "I am going to finish this like next week" "Everything is going swimmingly" Well, FALSE. This last chapter was terrible, horrible, no good, bad, awful. I can't even bring myself to reread it. Usually I write for a couple hours, go home, do whatever and decompress, and then review/edit that night. Couldn't do it yesterday. Sigh.

I am going to tell myself I am crumbling under the pressure of writing what I have planned all along. Kind of like I won't be able to live up to my big idea. Which I should be able to since it is my idea, but I am failing. I've always had two pretty big plot points in my head: The one I am currently writing is you know, a pretty big deal, not only in its self but also for the fact that it sets up the next big plot point. EPIC fail.

It's not even writer's block. I know what I have to write. I just can't actually put it into words. Sigh. The chapter before this one was if-y. And now this one... I almost just want to delete it without even re-reading it. But I won't.

Or maybe it all because there were no comfy chairs/ creative couches/ smart seats left at Starbucks yesterday. Yeah, let's blame it on that.

But in other news, I am on page 203. But unfortunately at least 10 pages (probably more like 202.5 pages) are crap.